Offred's Complex Bond with the Commander

The Handmaid's Tale

The ambiguous relationship between Offred and the Commander, involving pity, manipulation, and gratitude.

increasingupBearing stren­gth in each eventdowndecreasing
The First MeetingThe First Meeting from "The Handmaid's Tale". The First Meeting The Summons Offred is summoned to the Commander's study. She is terrified. He asks her to play Scrabble. She is bewildered.
The First Meeting The Summons Offred is summoned to the Commander's study. She is terrified. He asks her to play Scrabble. She is bewildered. The Game They play Scrabble. Offred feels the luxury of words. The Commander is sheepish, almost vulnerable. She feels a flicker of liking. The Kiss He asks for a kiss. She complies, closed lips. He asks for one as if she meant it. She does, and feels his sadness.
The GiftsThe Gifts from "The Handmaid's Tale". The Gifts The Magazine The Commander gives Offred a Vogue magazine. She is drawn to the images of the past. He watches her with pleasure.
The Gifts The Magazine The Commander gives Offred a Vogue magazine. She is drawn to the images of the past. He watches her with pleasure. The Hand Lotion He gives her hand lotion. She uses it to keep her skin soft. He watches her smooth it on. The intimacy is strange. The Feather Costume He gives her a feather costume and takes her to Jezebel's. She feels like a whore. He is showing off.
The ConfessionThe Confession from "The Handmaid's Tale". The Confession The Talk The Commander explains the reasons for Gilead. He says men needed to feel. Offred listens, empty. The Pity Offred feels sorry for him.
The Confession The Talk The Commander explains the reasons for Gilead. He says men needed to feel. Offred listens, empty. The Pity Offred feels sorry for him. He is a lonely old man. She cannot hate him. She uses his weakness. The End When Offred is taken, the Commander looks worried and helpless. She still feels pity. Their bond is broken by the regime.
night after the Birth Day
subsequent visits
late summer