The Commander's Secret Visits

Follows the clandestine relationship between Offred and the Commander, from the first summons to play Scrabble to the gifts and the visit to Jezebel's.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

First Summons via Nick

First Summons via Nick The Encounter in the Sitting Room Offred sneaks into the sitting room at night to steal a daffodil. Nick appears, startling her. He whispers that the Commander wants to see her in his study. They stand close, touching, both shaking. Offred feels the danger and the desire. She pushes him away, but the encounter leaves her trembling. The Forbidden Room Offred knocks on the Commander's study door. Inside, she finds a normal-looking room with bookshelves filled with books. The Commander is standing by the fireplace in a studied pose. He offers her a chair and asks her to play Scrabble. Offred is stunned; this is forbidden, dangerous, and absurd. The First Game They play two games. Offred spells words like "Larynx," "Valance," "Quince," "Zygote." The feel of the glossy counters is voluptuous. She wins the first game, lets him win the second. The Commander asks her to kiss him, and she does, closed lips. He asks her to kiss him as if she meant it. She complies, feeling the sadness in his request.

The Magazine Gift

The Magazine Gift The Second Evening Offred returns to the Commander's study for another Scrabble game. He is patient, letting her win. After the game, he produces a magazine, a Vogue from the seventies. He dangles it like fish bait. Offred wants it with a force that aches her fingers. The Images of the Past Offred flips through the pages, seeing bold, striding women in capes and tweeds. The images are of a world she has lost. The Commander watches her, finding pleasure in her transgression. Offred feels naughty, like an Edwardian seaside postcard. She asks why he has it; he says some of them retain an appreciation for the old things. The Pain of Remembrance The magazine reminds Offred of the former time, of freedom and choice. She feels the pain of loss. The Commander says his wife wouldn't understand. Offred realizes she is there because his wife doesn't understand him. It is banal, but true. She asks for hand lotion, and he promises to get some.

The Hand Lotion and Growing Intimacy

The Hand Lotion and Growing Intimacy The Gift of Lotion The Commander gives Offred a plastic bottle of hand lotion, poor quality, smelling of vegetable oil. She thanks him, but worries about where to keep it. He suggests her room, but she explains that they search. He tells her to keep it in his study. She smooths it on her hands and face while he watches. The Change in the Ceremony At the next Ceremony, Offred feels shy of the Commander. He is no longer a thing to her. She is conscious of her hairy legs, her armpits. The act of copulation becomes indecorous. She feels guilty toward Serena Joy, as if she is taking something that belongs to her. She also enjoys the power over Serena. The Commander's Slip During the Ceremony, the Commander reaches up to touch Offred's face. She moves her head away to warn him. Later, she tells him not to do that again. He apologizes, saying he finds it impersonal. Offred realizes she is his mistress, an outside woman. She is happier than before, because she is of interest to him.

The Visit to Jezebel's

The Visit to Jezebel's The Feather Costume The Commander gives Offred a feather costume, mauve and pink with sequins. He tells her to put it on and paint her face. She is reluctant but intrigued. He says it's a disguise for taking her out. She puts on the costume, feeling like a child dressing up. The Hotel They drive to a hotel that was once a place Offred visited with Luke. Inside, it is full of women in various costumes: lingerie, bathing suits, cheerleader outfits. Men mingle. The Commander shows her off, proud of his transgression. Offred feels like a truant. Meeting Moira Offred sees Moira, dressed as a rabbit with a flopping ear. They meet in the washroom. Moira tells her story of escape and capture, ending up at Jezebel's. Offred is horrified but also relieved to see her alive. Moira is indifferent, resigned. Offred realizes the cost of survival.

The Commander's Confessions

The Commander's Confessions The Drink and the Talk The Commander has taken to drinking Scotch while Offred visits. He becomes philosophical, explaining the problems that led to Gilead. He says men had nothing to do, no way to feel. Offred listens, trying to empty her mind. He asks for her opinion; she says she has none. The Justification He says, "You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs." Offred asks how he can think this is better. He replies that better never means better for everyone; it always means worse for some. She realizes he knows what she thinks but doesn't care. The Kiss Goodnight After the talk, the Commander asks for a kiss. Offred kisses him, closed lips, as if she means it. She thinks about the previous Handmaid who hanged herself. She wonders if she will end the same way. The Commander is sad, but she cannot give him what he wants.

night after the Birth Day

second evening visit

fourth evening visit

mid-summer, after several weeks of secret meetings

late summer, during a study visit