The Suicide Attempts

Documents Yozo's two major suicide attempts—with Tsuneko and with Dial—and his reflections on death.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

The First Attempt: Kamakura

The Pact with Tsuneko The Decision Tsuneko said the word "death," and Yozo consented. He felt that he could not go on living. They went to Kamakura. The Act They entered the sea together. Tsuneko died. Yozo was saved. He was rescued by a boat. The Aftermath He was hospitalized, then taken to the police station. The incident was in the newspapers. He felt shame and loss.

The Second Attempt: Dial

The Overdose The Discovery of the Box Yozo found a box of Dial sleeping pills in the sugar bowl. He had hidden it himself. He broke the seal and swallowed the whole contents. The Three Days of Death He lay as one dead. The doctor thought it was an accident. When he woke, he murmured, "I want to go home," and wept. The Aftermath He was taken to the mental hospital. This attempt was a cry for help, but it led to his final confinement.

The Reflection on Suicide

The Desire to Die The Constant Wish Yozo often wished for a violent death. He thought about suicide many times. It was a recurring escape. The Fear of Pain He was not afraid of dying, but he was afraid of getting hurt, losing blood, becoming crippled. This paradox kept him alive. The Final Resignation In the end, he did not kill himself. He simply stopped caring. He became a living ghost.

November of second college year

winter, after Yoshiko's violation

throughout the notebooks