“How do you go on”
All My Puny Sorrows“How do you go on?” is the question Elfrieda Von Riesen writes to her sister Yolandi Von Riesen in intensive care. Coming after Yolandi has sung to her and asked whether life might get better, the words turn an otherwise wordless vigil into a moment of direct communication—without offering either sister an answer.
The Written Question
Elfrieda cannot speak because a tube is in her throat. Yolandi offers to sing, and, after a pause, sings “I Don’t Know How to Love Him,” a song the sisters used to belt out together. As the room darkens and the respirator provides its artificial rhythm, Elfrieda writes the question on a pad resting on her stomach. Yolandi holds the paper to the respirator’s tiny red light to read it, then passes it back. Elfrieda shakes her head, and Yolandi returns the pad to her.
An Unanswered Exchange
The question’s force lies partly in its uncertainty: the scene does not settle whether Elfrieda is asking how to endure her own suffering, how her sister can continue, or how either of them can face what is happening. The sisters close their eyes, and time passes without further words. When Yolandi later asks whether Elfrieda is awake, she receives no response; she lays her head gently against Elfrieda’s stomach and whispers that she does not know what to do. The written question thus remains between them, an appeal made legible by the red light but not resolved by the vigil.
