David searches San Francisco for his missing son Nic

David Sheff’s search for his missing son Nic in San Francisco turns a family’s helpless waiting into urgent action. Nic is somewhere in the city and is using drugs; David searches for him despite knowing that Nic may not want to be found, caught between the fear of making no difference and the possibility that delay could prove irreversible.

Background and Decision to Search

By the time David considers going into the city, he and Vicki have been trying to get news of Nic. Vicki reaches Z., who has just heard from him: Nic called from San Francisco, and he was high. The news locates him only in the broadest sense. It confirms that he is alive and in the city, but offers no indication of where he is or whether he will accept help.

David’s despair gives way to the impulse to act. He recognizes that searching may not help, yet imagines that Nic could die before anyone finds him. Karen warns him that looking for Nic will not work if Nic does not want to be found and that David may only end up disappointed. David knows the warning is sound but cannot make waiting bearable. Karen finally gives him permission to go, hoping the attempt might at least ease his anguish.

The Search Across the City

David drives along Mission Street, looking through the open doors of shops, taquerias, and bars. He examines faces and repeatedly mistakes strangers for Nic; the search makes the city’s passing crowds seem to offer the same possibility over and over, without giving him a reliable lead. He parks on Ashbury and walks Haight Street, crossing back and forth as he checks head shops, bookstores, a pizza place, a café, and Amoeba.

He also returns to Golden Gate Park, going to the clearing where he had met a meth-addicted girl from Ohio. The place is nearly empty: two women are there with toddlers playing on a blanket. The remembered clearing supplies no trace of Nic. The route through commercial streets and familiar public spaces ends not in contact with his son but in another absence.

Family Strain and Uncertainty

Back home, David calls Randy, who listens to his distress and reassures him that Nic will not stay away for long because he is not having fun. David hopes this is true, but the reassurance does not remove his fear that Nic could overdose or otherwise suffer irreparable harm. The search therefore offers no certainty: even the prospect of Nic returning cannot settle the immediate danger David imagines.

Karen’s reluctant support also makes clear that the crisis is affecting more than the father and son. She is increasingly frustrated by the relentlessness of the worry and resents how it takes David away from her, Jasper, and Daisy. Her permission to search is not confidence that it will succeed; it is an attempt to respond to anguish she can see but cannot resolve. The episode captures the conflict at the center of David’s response to Nic’s addiction: he knows he cannot compel his son to be found, yet the risk of doing nothing feels intolerable.