Nic drops out of the University of California, Berkeley

Nic Sheff’s departure from Berkeley follows a brief, hopeful return to college after an earlier dropout. The family helps him settle into a dormitory and initially hears him describe classes with interest; within weeks, however, practical frustrations, complaints about teaching, and then silence replace that optimism. When Nic eventually says that college is not working and that he needs time to work on himself, David Sheff must reckon not only with his son’s withdrawal from school but also with the uncertainty surrounding its cause.

An earlier departure and a new start

The Berkeley episode is framed against an earlier setback. During the previous school year, Nic Sheff had dropped out of Berkeley. By the time he later attends college in the East and completes his freshman year, David counts him as approaching 150 days without methamphetamine. In the aftermath of that school year, Nic’s progress seems remarkable to his father. That remembered improvement helps explain why another attempt at Berkeley can look like a fresh opportunity rather than an obviously doomed return.

On a warm August afternoon, David and Karen Barbour drive Nic to Berkeley with Jasper Sheff and Daisy Sheff to help him move in. The family stops for pizza before entering the sprawling campus and finding Bowles Hall, an old Tudor dormitory. Jasper is impressed by its castle-like appearance, while the practical work of arrival takes the family through a stone archway and up two flights of stairs to Nic’s room. Their help makes the return a shared family undertaking: the new start is not only Nic’s decision but an occasion in which his family carries luggage, meets his roommates, and imagines him settling into student life.

Settling into Bowles Hall

Nic’s roommates initially seem serious, studious, and friendly. One is assembling an elaborate home-built computer; another has brought a collection of pop-music CDs that contrasts with Nic’s uncompromising musical taste. The difference gives the cramped room an immediate point of possible friction, but Nic responds playfully. He hugs each family member before they leave and treats the musical mismatch as something he can change by introducing the others to music he prefers. At the moment of departure, the awkwardness of shared space appears manageable, and the family has reason to picture Nic making a place for himself there.

The first calls reinforce that impression, at least in part. Nic sounds engaged by his classes, particularly a painting course. Soon, though, the work becomes a source of irritation: he cannot build straight stretcher bars for his canvases and has to carry the awkward frames across campus. The image of the assignment as a burden is specific and practical, rather than a broad rejection of college. His frustration then extends beyond art. He complains that teaching assistants, rather than professors, are leading his other courses and dismisses their ability. In retrospect, these calls trace a narrowing sense of investment: interest in one course gives way to frustration with the demands and structure of the larger academic experience.

Silence, absence, and the admission

After the complaints, Nic seems distracted during some calls and stops returning David’s calls regularly. David does not know what is happening, but the gap in communication tells him that things are going badly. When Nic does check in, he says he has been staying with friends and describes himself as more interested in the underground music scene than in school. David encourages him to stay with the opportunity at Berkeley and to get through the initial difficult period. He also suggests that Nic speak with counselors at the health center or contact his therapist, who has left the door open for him to keep in touch. Nic agrees that seeking help is a good idea, but David privately doubts that he will follow through.

A week later, one of Nic’s roommates calls because Nic has not appeared for several days. David is distraught. The call changes the situation from a father’s uneasy reading of missed conversations into a concrete report of Nic’s absence from the place where he is supposed to be living and studying. Two days later, on a late fall afternoon, Nic calls and acknowledges that college is not working. He says that he was not ready for it, needs time, and has work to do on himself; he also describes having been depressed. The call gives David an explanation for the departure, but not a complete one. It establishes Nic’s own account of his difficulty without resolving what lies behind it.

Depression, drugs, and unresolved causes

David initially assumes drugs are the problem and raises the possibility of rehabilitation. Nic says he is not using much, turning the conversation away from a straightforward explanation based on a return to heavy drug use. His report of depression makes the decision harder to interpret: leaving college may reflect an inability to manage school, a mental-health struggle, drug-related difficulties, or overlapping problems. The evidence does not settle which explanation is primary, and David recognizes that Nic’s account sounds level-headed enough to make sense to him.

The family consults experts, but their advice does not supply a certain diagnosis. David reflects on how drug use can function as self-medication for depression or other mental-health disorders, while the symptoms of those conditions can resemble symptoms of substance abuse. In young people, ordinary mood changes further complicate assessment. By the time a problem is identified, addiction may also have worsened an underlying condition and become intertwined with it, making the boundary between causes difficult to locate. Nic’s Berkeley departure therefore remains more than a simple academic failure: the immediate reasons he gives matter, but the family cannot confidently separate his distress from the possibility of substance-related harm.