Hollywood

Hollywood becomes the setting for a sharp reversal in Nic Sheff’s life: an apartment that first promises companionship and a fresh start turns into a place of isolation, material hardship, and visible decline. Through the contrasting accounts of his move and Vicki’s visit, the location marks the distance between Nic’s hopes for a new life and the conditions of his relapse.

A New Apartment

Nic moves again, this time into an apartment in Hollywood. He is excited to have a place with friends, and the move initially appears to offer a foothold in ordinary life. From there, he calls on his way to meet Randy for a bike ride down the coast. The apartment is introduced not as a landmark or a detailed portrait of the neighborhood, but as a home Nic is glad to have and a base connected to friendship and routine.

The Apartment During Nic’s Decline

The promise does not hold. Nic shows up high at work and loses his job; his phone is disconnected because he does not pay the bill, and he deserts his friends, including Randy, his best friend and sponsor. In a message, he says that he and his girlfriend have sold their clothes to pay for food. The narrator does not know how they have covered the rent or how they will pay it the following month, and fears that they may soon be homeless unless someone supports them or they are dealing drugs. The apartment thus becomes part of a precarious existence in which even food and rent are uncertain.

Vicki’s Visit

Unable to bear not knowing whether Nic is alive, Vicki drives to his Hollywood apartment to see for herself. She finds the shades down and receives no answer to her first knocks. When the door finally opens, the apartment is filthy: a pool of brown water lies on the floor and trash is scattered everywhere. Nic steps into view trembling, his hands raised against the daylight; he is gaunt, pale, nearly yellow, and has dark circles around vacant eyes. Z. appears behind him, her legs bleeding. When Vicki notices them, Z. stammers that a light bulb broke and that they were cleaning it up. Nic insists that they have been through the crisis and are getting sober, but the disorder of the apartment and his condition contradict his assurances. The scene is familiar to the narrator but new to Vicki, making Hollywood the place where she sees the severity of Nic’s decline directly.