Damage hardens us all

“Damage hardens us all” is Andrew Barber’s summation of the lasting harm the trial has done to Laurie and his family. It names not a return to strength but a change in character: Laurie becomes more guarded, more distant, and, in Andrew’s view, a little like him.

The Phrase in Context

In the weeks after Jacob’s troubles, Laurie begins to recover, but she never returns to the person she had been before. She does not regain the weight she lost, and Andrew continues to see her face as drawn; to him, she seems to have aged ten years in a few months. The physical signs persist, but the deeper change is in how she relates to the people closest to her.

Withdrawal and Family Change

Laurie’s new manner is cool and cautious. Andrew understands it as a response to having been victimized: she watches her husband and son from a distance rather than drawing them into the familiar family practice of sharing feelings and talking through problems. Her withdrawal alters the family’s intimate routines, at least for a time. Andrew does not begrudge her this guardedness; he recognizes it as a consequence of what she has endured.

Meaning and Reach

Andrew says that his damaged wife has become a little like him, “a little harder.” The comparison makes the phrase personal before it becomes universal: Laurie’s suffering brings her closer to the emotional hardness Andrew associates with himself. The following warning—that damage will harden the person it finds, too—extends the observation beyond the family. In this moment, the phrase gives lasting consequence to the trial even after its immediate crisis has passed: its harm remains visible in Laurie’s body, her changed habits, and the distance between family members.