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The Erotic Bond with the Radiologist

Die, My Love

This emotional thread traces the obsessive, wordless desire between the narrator and the radiologist from first sight to final kiss.

increasingupBearing stren­gth in each eventdowndecreasing
The Mouth Goes DryThe Mouth Goes Dry from "Die, My Love". The Mouth Goes Dry Context The radiologist thinks of the narrator and his mouth goes dry.
The Mouth Goes Dry Context The radiologist thinks of the narrator and his mouth goes dry. He sees her lying on the grass, wearing a pink sleeveless shirt and wellies, sprawled like an amphibian. Turn He knows her positions, her clothes, her almost-unused smile, but not her name or age. He is spellbound by a woman who sings opera in a deep baroque voice. Aftermath The erotic bond begins as pure projection. He wills her into a myth before she ever speaks to him.
The Shared TragedyThe Shared Tragedy from "Die, My Love". The Shared Tragedy Context The radiologist enters the narrator's garden and sees her appear in the night, suspended in the air.
The Shared Tragedy Context The radiologist enters the narrator's garden and sees her appear in the night, suspended in the air. She tells him to grab a knife and slice his lip open, and he obeys. Turn She gallops into the house while watching him bleed. He says they shared the tragedies of their lives in that instant, there among the shadows. Aftermath The bond is sealed with blood and silence. Neither of them needs to explain why they are in the pit.
The Kiss at the FenceThe Kiss at the Fence from "Die, My Love". The Kiss at the Fence Context The narrator hears the radiologist and goes barefoot to the fence. They kiss as if firing silver sparks into the black air.
The Kiss at the Fence Context The narrator hears the radiologist and goes barefoot to the fence. They kiss as if firing silver sparks into the black air. Turn She knows that afterwards she will go into the woods and vomit, and then have a beak, feathers and talons. The husband is sleeping and the baby is falling out of bed. Aftermath The kiss transforms her into an animal of desire. The erotic bond is now a physical transformation, not just a fantasy.
The Roadside AssignationThe Roadside Assignation from "Die, My Love". The Roadside Assignation Context The narrator and the radiologist plan to meet just beyond the parked cars, emerging from the November fog.
The Roadside Assignation Context The narrator and the radiologist plan to meet just beyond the parked cars, emerging from the November fog. He walks behind a man pulling a cart with a screech she feels in her teeth. Turn They kiss on top of speed bumps, bathed in toxins from the nuclear power plant. The erotic obsession reaches its summit, with weeds over their eyes and babies hanging upside down. Aftermath When the night runs its course, they say goodbye, and a suffocating feeling climbs up her throat. The bond is both rapture and sickness.
The Salty Blood KissThe Salty Blood Kiss from "Die, My Love". The Salty Blood Kiss Context After the radiologist sends his wife upstairs, he takes the narrator by the arm and kisses her.
The Salty Blood Kiss Context After the radiologist sends his wife upstairs, he takes the narrator by the arm and kisses her. Her tongue on his tongue is a painkiller. Turn She sees his face change as he looks at the marks left by the glass. The kiss stops death in its tracks, but it is also a goodbye. Aftermath The blood-tinted kiss closes the erotic bond. It is the last moment of intimacy before the two men make their agreement and the affair dissolves.
before the affair begins, in the radiologist's account
during the radiologist's midnight visit
a night not long after the midnight visit
a November day when they meet beyond the parked cars
near the ending, at the radiologist's house