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Austin's Return to Human Vulnerability

I'm Still Here

This flow follows Austin's recognition that knowledge of racism cannot make her immune to grief, fear, or the need for intimacy.

increasingupBearing stren­gth in each eventdowndecreasing
The Scholar of RacismThe Scholar of Racism from "I'm Still Here". The Scholar of Racism Knowledge accumulated Austin has studied slavery, lynching, segregation, and the persistence of hatred toward Black bodies.
The Scholar of Racism Knowledge accumulated Austin has studied slavery, lynching, segregation, and the persistence of hatred toward Black bodies. She believes that knowing this history should prepare her for what racism can do. A fragile defense Knowledge helps her recognize patterns, but it cannot prevent every wound. Her confidence in understanding history will soon meet the force of a present event that reaches her personally.
The Night America Hurts AgainThe Night America Hurts Again from "I'm Still Here". The Night America Hurts Again Terror in the news Austin learns of the attack at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and watches the news as long as she…
The Night America Hurts Again Terror in the news Austin learns of the attack at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and watches the news as long as she can bear. The place of worship makes the violence feel like an attack on her own community. No immunity Fear lasts even after the shooter is captured. Austin resents that she cannot keep her churchgoing life untouched by terror and feels foolish for having believed some forms of violence might be off-limits.
Words for the WoundWords for the Wound from "I'm Still Here". Words for the Wound A poem recognized Austin returns to the writing of Ntozake Shange and finds language for the painful discovery that she can still be hurt.
Words for the Wound A poem recognized Austin returns to the writing of Ntozake Shange and finds language for the painful discovery that she can still be hurt. She had thought knowledge might make her immune, but she remains emotionally exposed. Humanity reclaimed She repeats to herself that she is human and still alive. Vulnerability is not a failure of understanding; it is evidence that she remains connected to the world and to other people.
A Return to Her FatherA Return to Her Father from "I'm Still Here". A Return to Her Father Seeking an old refuge Austin realizes that she needs her father and the congregation of her childhood.
A Return to Her Father Seeking an old refuge Austin realizes that she needs her father and the congregation of her childhood. She returns to the church whose worship once introduced her to a faith rooted in Black community. Familiar rituals restored The carpet has changed, but prayer, preaching, choir music, and church mothers remain. Familiar details give her a way back into shared life without pretending that the danger has ended.
Alive Within CommunityAlive Within Community from "I'm Still Here". Alive Within Community Children speak Children read Scripture before the congregation, some confidently and others shyly.
Alive Within Community Children speak Children read Scripture before the congregation, some confidently and others shyly. Their presence matters more than polished performance: they are here, and the community is still with them. Intimacy against terror Austin cries through worship and later recognizes how much she depends on Black community online, at church, and beyond it. The community's love does not erase loss, but it allows her to imagine facing tomorrow.
Before the Charleston church shooting
The night of June 17, 2015
The morning after the attack
The Sunday after Austin cries in the quiet church
During Children’s Sunday after the attack