Augustine’s Restless Return
LongingThis thread follows Augustine from ambition and divided desire through conversion to a life shaped by grace and the search for God.
increasing
Bearing strength in each event
decreasing
A Youth of Desire

A Youth of Desire
Searching for satisfaction
Augustine pursues education, reputation, and sexual pleasure while feeling dissatisfied with Christian teaching.
His account of stealing pears later becomes a meditation on wrongdoing for its own sake.
The restless heart
His early choices reveal a mind searching intensely but not yet at peace.
The Search for Truth

The Search for Truth
Philosophy and competing answers
Reading Hortensius awakens Augustine’s desire for truth.
He joins the followers of Mani, whose dualism seems to explain evil and bodily desire.
Growing disappointment
Questions remain unanswered, and the explanation that once attracted him loses authority.
Ambrose and New Light

Ambrose and New Light
A change in understanding
Augustine hears Ambrose preach and begins to recognize the intellectual depth of Christian Scripture.
Neoplatonism also encourages him to look inward toward an unchanging source of being.
An incomplete discovery
He is drawn toward God, yet struggles to understand Christ and relinquish his old life.
The Garden Crisis

The Garden Crisis
A divided will
Accounts of desert monks intensify Augustine’s awareness that he wants to serve God but cannot make himself choose.
He withdraws to a garden in distress.
A decisive reading
A child’s call leads him to Paul’s letter to the Romans, whose words about putting on Christ meet his crisis directly.
A New Life of Service

A New Life of Service
From private change to vocation
Augustine is baptized with Alypius and returns to North Africa.
He first pursues a communal religious life, then becomes a priest and bishop.
A continuing search
His writings and pastoral work extend his conversion into a lifelong effort to serve the church and understand grace.
Augustine’s youth in North Africa
During his years in Carthage
After Augustine arrives in Milan
In Milan, before Augustine’s baptism
After the conversion and baptism