Bethany

Bethany, Ted’s wife and Brendan’s stepmother, is also Jon-Jon’s mother and one of his principal caregivers. Brendan initially treats her as a villain in the story of his parents’ divorce; as he grows older, he recognizes her kindness and the difficulty of raising a child whose needs can overwhelm the household. Her role in the family is defined less by explanations than by the work of responding, again and again, when Jon-Jon is distressed.

Identity and Background

Brendan recalls that he and Bethany did not get along when he was a teenager. He thought of her as the person who had ruined his life, an interpretation bound up with his anger at his father and the upheaval of the divorce. Ted had told Brendan not to blame Bethany, describing her as an innocent bystander and insisting that the decision to leave the marriage was his own. Brendan eventually accepts that his father had chosen for himself, rather than being manipulated or taken away from his first family by his new wife.

Bethany was considerably younger than Eve, and Brendan remembers thinking she was attractive when Ted married her. That early, superficial judgment gives way to a more attentive perception: by the time Jon-Jon’s autism is openly discussed, Brendan sees that Bethany has aged and notices in her eyes how hard caring for him has become. He comes to regard her as a nicer person than he had assumed and feels sorry for her, a marked revision of the role he once assigned her.

Caregiving under Strain

Jon-Jon’s distress shapes the household’s routines and limits the family’s attempts to spend time together. During Brendan’s junior year, he tried visiting Ted and Bethany two weekends a month. Bethany would greet him with practiced cheerfulness and encourage Jon-Jon to acknowledge his big brother, but Jon-Jon could respond to Brendan’s arrival with a prolonged meltdown. He might scream, throw himself down, or hit himself; even after he wore himself out and fell asleep, the household remained shaken. The visits could end with a game of Yahtzee, but not with the ease of an ordinary family gathering.

The family also developed a public way to explain Jon-Jon’s behavior and help keep him safe. After an especially severe tantrum at Target the previous year, Ted and Bethany had printed cards explaining that their son had been diagnosed with autism and might need physical restraint to prevent injury to himself or others. The cards expressed their love for him and asked others for understanding. Bethany kept them in her purse, ready to hand out when strangers mistook a crisis for something they could assess at a glance.

At a later outdoor gathering, an overhead plane preceded Jon-Jon’s sharp yelps, rocking, and self-injury. As onlookers turned toward the family, Bethany apologized to Brendan and then gave one of the cards to a concerned woman in a Berkshire State University sweatshirt. When Jon-Jon punched himself, Ted sat on the grass and held him from behind, trying to restrain his arms. Bethany continued handing cards to people in the gathering crowd and apologizing for the disturbance. Her response is practical and exposed: she explains the situation while her family manages it in full view of strangers.

Brendan’s Changing View

Brendan’s growing sympathy for Bethany does not make his own feelings simple. After recounting Jon-Jon’s public meltdown to Amber, he says he felt sorry for his father and stepmother. That is true, but incomplete: he also felt sorry for himself and jealous of his younger half-brother. Brendan knows Jon-Jon cannot control his behavior and would not trade places with him, yet the scene of Ted holding Jon-Jon tightly and refusing to let go reminds him of a closeness he feels he never received from his father. Bethany’s burden and Brendan’s hurt coexist; recognizing the former does not erase the latter.

Family Role and Significance

Bethany’s characterization comes chiefly through Brendan’s retrospective account. The change in his view—from blaming her for the divorce to seeing her as a decent person under pressure—also clarifies that his earlier hostility had obscured his father’s responsibility and Bethany’s actual place in the family. In scenes of Jon-Jon’s meltdowns, she is not simply a symbol of the household’s difficulties: she prepares for public misunderstanding, tries to include Brendan, and attends to the practical aftermath of a crisis. Her steady caregiving gives Brendan grounds for compassion, even as his jealousy exposes the unresolved ache beneath his sympathy.