Michael’s Love and Loss

My Policeman

This flow traces Patrick Hazlewood’s earlier relationship with Michael, whose blackmail and suicide shape Patrick’s fear of intimacy and later hopes with Tom Burgess.

increasing

Bearing strength in each event

decreasing

A Hidden Affair A Hidden Affair from "My Policeman". A Hidden Affair A private ritual Patrick Hazlewood and Michael share regular Wednesday nights, making meals, music, and dancing into a protected world of…

A Hidden Affair from "My Policeman". A Hidden Affair A private ritual Patrick Hazlewood and Michael share regular Wednesday nights, making meals, music, and dancing into a protected world of…

A Hidden Affair A private ritual Patrick Hazlewood and Michael share regular Wednesday nights, making meals, music, and dancing into a protected world of intimacy. A life divided The arrangement is tender but constrained; Michael returns to another household, leaving Patrick to wait and hope for more.

Blackmail Begins Blackmail Begins from "My Policeman". Blackmail Begins A threat arrives Anonymous blackmail letters demand money from Michael after his relationship with Patrick Hazlewood becomes vulnerable to…

Blackmail Begins from "My Policeman". Blackmail Begins A threat arrives Anonymous blackmail letters demand money from Michael after his relationship with Patrick Hazlewood becomes vulnerable to…

Blackmail Begins A threat arrives Anonymous blackmail letters demand money from Michael after his relationship with Patrick Hazlewood becomes vulnerable to exposure. Fear takes control The letters make their private love a source of danger, and Michael pays because neither man can safely confront the threat.

The Final Payment The Final Payment from "My Policeman". The Final Payment Escalating demands A second letter doubles the price of silence, while the men remain unable to identify or challenge the blackmailer.

The Final Payment from "My Policeman". The Final Payment Escalating demands A second letter doubles the price of silence, while the men remain unable to identify or challenge the blackmailer.

The Final Payment Escalating demands A second letter doubles the price of silence, while the men remain unable to identify or challenge the blackmailer. A death that endures Michael dies by suicide, leaving Patrick with grief and anger at the social forces that made their relationship dangerous.

Fear Recalled Fear Recalled from "My Policeman". Fear Recalled Writing as evidence Patrick Hazlewood records his attraction to Tom Burgess but worries that preserving desire on paper may expose him.

Fear Recalled from "My Policeman". Fear Recalled Writing as evidence Patrick Hazlewood records his attraction to Tom Burgess but worries that preserving desire on paper may expose him.

Fear Recalled Writing as evidence Patrick Hazlewood records his attraction to Tom Burgess but worries that preserving desire on paper may expose him. The past returns Michael’s letters and death remind Patrick that private happiness can become a target, complicating his new hope with fear.

Grief Beside New Love Grief Beside New Love from "My Policeman". Grief Beside New Love A dangerous comparison Patrick Hazlewood recognises that Tom Burgess makes him feel young and hopeful in ways distinct from his past with…

Grief Beside New Love from "My Policeman". Grief Beside New Love A dangerous comparison Patrick Hazlewood recognises that Tom Burgess makes him feel young and hopeful in ways distinct from his past with…

Grief Beside New Love A dangerous comparison Patrick Hazlewood recognises that Tom Burgess makes him feel young and hopeful in ways distinct from his past with Michael. Hope remains guarded The earlier loss explains Patrick’s caution, but it cannot prevent him from pursuing a relationship that may again be taken from him.

Several years before Patrick Hazlewood meets Tom Burgess

About five years before Patrick Hazlewood’s 1957 journal

Within two months of the first blackmail letter

September 1957, as Patrick Hazlewood begins writing again

October 1957