Mr. Nilsen

Mr. Nilsen is Alex Nilsen’s father: a formidable presence to the Wright family’s daughter, yet a man who ultimately supports his sons when their happiness is involved. His image holds a tension between religious conservatism and familial acceptance, most clearly in the contrast between Alex’s difficult adolescence and Mr. Nilsen’s public pride in his gay son.

Family and Faith

Alex’s upbringing included restrictions shaped by his father’s religious outlook. He was not allowed to listen to secular music until high school, and the decision to attend a secular university was met with weeping. These details give Mr. Nilsen a place in the family’s history of firm expectations, although the account does not present those expectations as the whole of his character.

The contrast becomes explicit when Alex tells Poppy Wright that his father has embraced David Nilsen and Tham’s relationship. David is twenty-four and about to marry Tham; Alex says that Tham is great and that Mr. Nilsen is on board. He has even acquired a bumper sticker declaring his pride in being a Christian who loves his gay son. Poppy laughs at the detail because it sounds so perfectly like Mr. Nilsen, while also playing into her and Alex’s running joke that David is the family favorite.

A Father Who Comes Around

Mr. Nilsen’s support is not described as effortless or as evidence that he never held conservative views. Rather, the account emphasizes a pattern of eventual acceptance: he really does love his sons and pretty much always comes around on matters concerning their happiness. The distinction matters. His earlier religious rules and his family’s account of his response to David’s marriage coexist; the later support does not erase the earlier strain, but shows where his priorities ultimately lead.

That pattern also gives context to Alex’s quick, teasing exchange with Poppy about marrying young. When she suggests that, had he married at twenty-four, he would be married to Sarah Torval, Alex counters that she would be married to Guillermo. The joke turns David and Tham’s impending wedding into a playful comparison of lives that might have taken a different course; Mr. Nilsen’s acceptance of his sons’ choices sits in the background of that family conversation.

Presence in the Wright Household

Mr. Nilsen is also defined by the impression he makes on Alex. Poppy describes her father as brawny, booming-voiced, somewhat handy, and prone to blunt questions that can border on inappropriate. His curiosity is not meant to elicit a particular answer, but he is not very self-aware about how his questions land. Even an ordinary inquiry about whether someone voted in the last mayoral election can feel, to Alex, like an interrogation.

That intimidating manner helps explain why Alex keeps his personality tightly contained around him. The first summer of their friendship, when Alex came to pick Poppy up at her parents’ house for karaoke, Poppy tried to shield him from her family and their home. After their first road trip home, she understood that the crowded little house—with its knickknacks, dusty picture frames, and dog dander—could be overwhelming to Alex. Her protectiveness had another cause as well: she feared he would judge a family she knew was messy, strange, loud, and blunt, but also amazing.

Character and Narrative Role

Mr. Nilsen’s characterization comes through these contrasting perspectives rather than through an extended account of his own actions. To Alex, he is a father whose voice and questions can make a room feel like an interrogation; in the family’s later circumstances, he is also a man who backs his sons’ happiness. The proud bumper sticker makes that change in emphasis visible in a single, memorable object, while the history of rules and weeping keeps the portrait from becoming uncomplicated.

His presence also sharpens the difference between the Nilsen and Wright households as Alex experiences them. Poppy’s attempt to manage his first visit shows how strongly his reserve shapes her protective instincts, while her description of her own father’s forceful manner helps explain why Alex feels out of his depth. Across both family contexts, Mr. Nilsen remains a supporting figure whose significance lies in the gap between the intimidating authority Alex remembers and the acceptance he ultimately gives his sons.