Ewoks

The Ewoks are the diminutive, fur-covered inhabitants of the forest moon of Endor, best known from the Star Wars films, and in this novel they function as a surprisingly persistent motif in the developing relationship between Alex Claremont-Diaz and Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor. Though they appear only in passing references, the Ewoks carry outsized emotional weight, serving as the subject of a spirited debate about cinematic quality, the basis of a flirtatious text message, and the unlikely trigger for a moment of profound personal realization. Their appearances trace the arc of Alex and Henry's connection from playful antagonism to something far deeper, making the Ewoks a subtle but telling barometer of the relationship's evolution.

The Great Star Wars Debate

The Ewoks first enter the narrative through a heated argument between Alex and Henry over the relative merits of the original Star Wars trilogy. Alex, defending The Empire Strikes Back as the best installment, dismisses the Ewoks as "stupid," while Henry counters that "Ewoks are iconic." Their exchange escalates with Alex invoking the film's darker tone—"It's the most thematically complex. It's got the Han and Leia kiss in it, you meet Yoda, Han is at the top of his game, fucking Lando Calrissian, and the best twist in cinematic history"—and contrasting it with what he derides as the inferior sequel: "What does Jedi have? Fuckin' ewoks." Henry, however, defends the creatures and their homeworld, insisting "But Endor," to which Alex retorts "But Hoth," arguing that "There's a reason people always call the best, grittiest installment of a trilogy the Empire of the series." The debate culminates in a telling exchange about the value of happy endings, with Henry asking, "But isn't there something to be valued in a happy ending as well?" and Alex responding, "Spoken like a true Prince Charming." This moment establishes the Ewoks as a shorthand for their differing temperaments: Alex's preference for grit and complexity versus Henry's appreciation for warmth and resolution.

A Flirtatious Text Message

The Ewoks reappear in a more intimate context when Henry sends Alex an unsolicited text message. The message reads simply, "This bloke looks like you," and is accompanied by a picture of a laptop screen paused on Chief Chirpa, the tiny, commanding leader of the Ewoks from Return of the Jedi. The image is described as "tiny, commanding, adorable, pissed off," a description that playfully suggests a resemblance to Alex himself. The message is signed, "This is Henry, by the way," marking one of their earliest direct communications. Alex rolls his eyes at the message but nonetheless adds the new contact to his phone, saving it under the mocking name "HRH Prince Dickhead" with a poop emoji. This exchange transforms the Ewoks from a subject of debate into a private joke between the two, a shared reference point that signals the beginning of their unlikely rapport.

The Pyramus and Thisbe Note

The Ewoks' most significant appearance comes much later, during a period of estrangement between Alex and Henry. Alex, having been fired from his campaign job and spiraling into despair, is digging through his closet when he stumbles upon a bundle of teal silk—a kimono that Percy Okonjo had made for him. About to shove it back into the corner, he feels something in the pocket: a small folded square of paper, stationery from the hotel where he and Henry had spent a pivotal night together. The note, written in Henry's cursive, reads: "Dear Thisbe, I wish there weren't a wall. Love, Pyramus." Alex, fumbling for his phone so frantically he almost drops it, searches for the reference and learns that Pyramus and Thisbe were lovers in a Greek myth, children of rival families forbidden to be together, who could only speak through a thin crack in the wall built between them. The discovery is overwhelming—"And that is, officially, too fucking much"—and it directly precipitates Alex's impulsive decision to fly to London. He texts his friend Cash, unearths an emergency credit card, and buys two first-class, nonstop plane tickets from Dulles International to Heathrow, boarding in two hours. The Ewoks, through their association with the kimono and the hotel night, thus become the unlikely catalyst for one of the novel's most pivotal romantic gestures, the moment Alex chooses to bridge the wall between himself and Henry.

Thematic Significance

The Ewoks function throughout the novel as a marker of the relationship's shifting register. In their first appearance, they are the subject of intellectual sparring, a way for Alex and Henry to test each other's tastes and temperaments. In their second, they become a vehicle for flirtation, a playful image that allows Henry to reach out to Alex under the guise of a joke. In their third, they are woven into the fabric of a deeply personal artifact—the kimono, the hotel stationery, the handwritten note—that carries the emotional weight of the night "everything inside Alex rearranged." The Ewoks, dismissed by Alex as "stupid" and defended by Henry as "iconic," ultimately prove to be neither simply one nor the other. They are, like the relationship itself, something that starts as a joke and becomes something far more meaningful, a small, furry touchstone for a love story that Alex once imagined would arrive "on the back of a dragon" and instead arrived through a series of text messages, debates, and a folded note in a pocket.