Andy Warhol’s infatuation with Jon Gould

Andy Warhol’s infatuation with Jon Gould is a pursuit shaped by loneliness, fantasy, and the effort to make romance seem useful as well as desirable. After Jed Johnson moves out, Warhol describes relief at living alone alongside a fear of being by himself in the large house. Gould becomes both the object of a sustained crush and a possible partner in work, a combination that lets Warhol imagine intimacy while keeping it within the familiar language of projects and business.

Loneliness and the decision to fall in love

Warhol frames his attachment to Gould against a period of emotional disorientation. He wonders what ordinary actions mean, recalls that he had been unable to tell the Diary about the painful fights with Jed Johnson, and admits that the house feels too empty despite the company of Nena, Aurora, Archie, and Amos. His stated response is to try to fall in love, and he identifies Gould as the person he is pursuing. But the diary does not present the crush as a settled relationship: Warhol recognizes that thinking constantly about someone can become a fantasy rather than a real connection, and that the effort of seeing the person repeatedly may begin to feel like another job.

That self-awareness does not stop the pursuit. Warhol considers Gould a good person to love partly because Gould has a career of his own. He also imagines developing movie ideas with him and suggests Gould might persuade Paramount Pictures to advertise in Interview. The entry’s striking turn is its attempt to make emotional longing commercially sensible: Warhol describes his crush as potentially good for business. Rather than resolving the tension between fantasy and reality, this justification allows him to keep investing in both at once.

Courtship at home and in public

At an Easter dinner, Gould arrives late after returning sheets to Macy’s and brings Warhol a plain Easter basket. Warhol responds by showing him the entire house, hoping to impress him, and hints that it could all be Gould’s, including a room that would bear his name. The gesture makes the home itself part of the courtship: in a period when Warhol fears living alone, he presents domestic space as an invitation to a shared future. After dinner they see Excalibur and walk back together. Warhol has given Gould a rabbit puppet, which Gould waves at people; the account ends with Gould leaving to visit his family in Massachusetts for Easter, a small departure that interrupts the domestic possibility Warhol has been projecting.

Warhol also values the public appearance of dating Gould. At Can Can, after going to the theater together, he enjoys being seated among prominent guests and describes the evening as a real date. Gould’s height and strength make Warhol feel that Gould can take care of him, while Gould’s straight-acting public manner makes Warhol imagine that other people see him as straight. That outward presentation is part of the attraction, but it also sharpens the uncertainty: Warhol says Gould has told him that he is not gay and cannot, leaving the question of what Gould might offer unresolved.

Recruiting an ally, mixing work and desire

Chris Makos serves as Warhol’s close companion during the pursuit. Warhol praises Makos as exciting company who makes him feel young, takes him running around, and understands his rhythms. He also describes Makos as considerate toward his lover, Peter Wise. In the same account, Warhol offers Makos a wristwatch he wants if he can get Gould to fall for him. The bargain casts the crush as something that might be advanced through a friend’s intervention, even as Warhol’s description of his feelings remains intensely personal.

The arrangement recurs in a later entry, when Warhol says he has offered Makos a gold watch to persuade Gould to do something with him. He adds that even if nothing romantic happens immediately, he still wants Gould to move in, believing that they could see what develops afterward. The distinction is telling: cohabitation appears as a practical next step and a way to keep possibility open, not as evidence that Gould has agreed to a romance. In the diary, desire repeatedly becomes a plan that can be negotiated, arranged, or supported by a material reward.

Uneven access and unresolved longing

Warhol’s efforts to maintain contact meet ordinary limits. After returning to New York, he calls Gould, who cannot talk because his tub is overflowing. Later, Gould’s calls to the office are reported by Brigid Berlin, who is snide about the connection; Warhol answers that he and Gould are working on a script together. The professional explanation both gives the relationship a public cover and reflects Warhol’s persistent habit of locating a work project inside the crush.

The diary also records a more painful imbalance. On one Sunday, Warhol tries calling Gould several times. Gould calls back after Warhol has gone out, but by then Warhol is too upset to talk. A few days later, after a dinner, Warhol visits Gould’s apartment with Barbara Allen and spends an hour watching Gould count pennies while balancing his budget. Gould is rereading a book and asking serious questions; Warhol finds the exchange tedious and leaves at one in the morning. The episode resists the idealized date-and-home scenario: time together does not automatically become intimacy, and Warhol’s investment is not matched by a clear romantic advance from Gould.

The diary’s pattern of hope and qualification

Across these entries, Warhol alternates between imagining closeness and qualifying that hope. He wants Gould to fall for him, pictures him in the house, and enjoys the reassurance of being seen together in public. At the same time, he calls the attachment a fantasy, acknowledges that Gould has said he is not gay, and repeatedly translates courtship into work, money, or a proposed living arrangement. The Diary preserves that contradiction rather than supplying a romantic resolution. Gould’s availability remains uncertain, while Warhol’s longing is unmistakable; the gap between the two is the defining condition of the infatuation.