Joe and Harry's Uneasy Reconciliation

The Boys in the Boat

This thread follows the affection and hurt that persist between Joe and his father from separation to partial repair.

increasing

Bearing strength in each event

decreasing

The Stories of a Father The Stories of a Father from "The Boys in the Boat". Learning Beside Harry Shared Interests Harry teaches Joe about machines and explains how tools and engines work.

The Stories of a Father from "The Boys in the Boat". Learning Beside Harry Shared Interests Harry teaches Joe about machines and explains how tools and engines work.

Learning Beside Harry Shared Interests Harry teaches Joe about machines and explains how tools and engines work. They share music, games, and evenings looking at the stars. Attachment These memories give Joe a picture of the father he loves, making later separation more painful. Their bond is real even though Harry will not prove consistently dependable.

The Car Leaves The Car Leaves from "The Boys in the Boat". A Child Left Behind Separation Harry tells Joe that he must stay in Sequim while the rest of the family leaves.

The Car Leaves from "The Boys in the Boat". A Child Left Behind Separation Harry tells Joe that he must stay in Sequim while the rest of the family leaves.

A Child Left Behind Separation Harry tells Joe that he must stay in Sequim while the rest of the family leaves. Joe watches the car’s red taillights disappear in the rain. Wound Harry’s decision breaks the boy’s confidence in family protection. Joe’s determination to depend only on himself becomes a defense against the possibility of being abandoned again.

The Closed Door The Closed Door from "The Boys in the Boat". Another Rejection Visit Joe and Joyce visit Harry’s Seattle home, but Thula refuses to admit them.

The Closed Door from "The Boys in the Boat". Another Rejection Visit Joe and Joyce visit Harry’s Seattle home, but Thula refuses to admit them.

Another Rejection Visit Joe and Joyce visit Harry’s Seattle home, but Thula refuses to admit them. Harry is away, and the younger children are not available to see their brother. Restraint Joyce is angry on Joe’s behalf, but Joe tells her that anger costs energy. His explanation reveals how thoroughly he has adapted to hurt by suppressing the wish to be protected.

Lunch in the Franklin Lunch in the Franklin from "The Boys in the Boat". Contact Without Resolution Reunion Joe approaches Harry at the Golden Rule bakery after years apart.

Lunch in the Franklin from "The Boys in the Boat". Contact Without Resolution Reunion Joe approaches Harry at the Golden Rule bakery after years apart.

Contact Without Resolution Reunion Joe approaches Harry at the Golden Rule bakery after years apart. They share a sandwich in the Franklin and speak about work before Joe asks about his half siblings. Boundary Harry will not openly bring Joe into the household, but hints at times when the children are alone. Their affection returns in small gestures without a full accounting of the past.

A Father Returns to the Table

A New Invitation Grief After Thula dies, Joe visits Harry and the children. He sits down with them without ceremony and remembers the childhood experience of losing a mother. Repair Harry asks Joe to come home once the new house is built. Joe does not immediately trust him, but shared care for the children begins to create a relationship that can continue.

Before 1918

November 1929

Autumn 1934

Spring 1935

October 1935