Love must be freely given, and freely taken

“Love must be freely given, and freely taken” is Emery Staines’s formulation of love as mutual choice rather than unrequited longing. Recalled by Anna Wetherell in conversation with Cowell Devlin, the expression offers an ideal of two people joining as equal halves of a whole, while the circumstances of its recollection leave their relationship without a formal declaration or vow.

The Expression and Its Meaning

Anna recounts that she and Staines spoke about unrequited love on the night he vanished. She had said something she now calls silly; Staines, she remembers, stopped her and insisted that unrequited love was not possible because it was not love. In his account, love must be freely offered and freely accepted, with the lovers joining to make something whole from equal halves.

The formulation ties love to reciprocity and consent. Its image of equal halves sets mutual participation against one-sided longing: neither lover is merely the object of the other’s feeling. Anna says that Staines’s idea pleased her, and her recollection preserves it as a principle he voiced rather than a promise he made to her.

The Conversation About Staines

Devlin asks Anna directly whether she is in love with Staines. She answers by recalling their conversation, but Devlin points out that Staines did not declare his love for her afterward. Anna replies that he made no vows, and Devlin adds that she did not either. The exchange distinguishes a compelling account of love from a formal commitment between the two people discussing it.

Anna’s recollection nevertheless shows that the idea matters to her: she reports Staines’s words with evident approval. When Devlin observes that they share a view of love, she tells him that his statement about people needing love is precisely the sort of thing Staines would say. Her response connects the absent Staines’s philosophy to the conversation in the present without turning that affinity into proof of vows or a declaration.

Devlin’s Response and the Phrase’s Limits

Devlin answers Anna’s observation by saying that people want and need to be loved, and that without love they cannot be themselves. Anna recognizes the resemblance to Staines’s thought and playfully suggests that Devlin has complimented himself by praising Staines. The moment gives the expression a conversational life beyond Anna’s memory: it becomes a point of recognition between her and Devlin, as well as a way for her to speak about the missing man.

The scene keeps the principle distinct from the relationship’s unresolved status. Staines’s words define what he considers love, but Anna explicitly reports no vows, and the conversation supplies no declaration from either lover. The expression therefore carries emotional weight without settling what, in practice, passed between them.