Big’s rule to wait a year before proposing

Big’s rule to wait a year before proposing is a personal limit he imposed after his last divorce: he must spend a full year with a new partner before asking her to marry him. The rule turns his history of failed marriages into a recurring family joke, but it also gives his romantic enthusiasm a measure of restraint.

Origin and Terms

Big reminds Lennie of the rule during a late-night conversation on the porch. He is considering skipping work the next day to have lunch at a restaurant with a new lady-friend, a change from his usual tree-based dining. Lennie warns him not to propose until they have been together for a year, recalling that this was his own rule after his previous divorce—and teasing him that it was his fifth.

Big’s View of Proposing

Big accepts the reminder, but the waiting period has not diminished his affection for proposals. He says he misses proposing because he finds it deeply romantic, and urges Lennie to try it at least once, comparing the experience to skydiving with one’s feet on the ground. His enthusiasm makes the rule comic rather than solemn: he limits his own impulse without pretending to have lost its thrill.

Family Context and Significance

Big has shared his advice about proposing with Lennie and Bailey throughout their lives. Lennie recalls that she once assumed proposing was not always considered an equal-opportunity act; Sarah’s sixth-grade argument about the inequities of marriage was what challenged that assumption. The rule therefore sits within a larger pattern of family conversation about romance and marriage, combining Big’s personal history with his playful guidance to the younger women in his family.