Lust and Self-Control

This flow traces Grainier’s late sexual awakening, panic, flight into the mountains, and return to ordinary life.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

Fairground Desire

Fairground Desire Sudden Awakening At the fairgrounds Grainier sees two Kootenai women and becomes overwhelmed by desire and fear. The intensity surprises him because his adult life has contained only one lover. He leaves without buying a dog, recognizing that something has changed inside him. Desire appears as a force that can displace judgment. Public Provocation The nearby advertisement for Sins of Love magnifies his agitation. Commercial sexuality gives his private impulse a theatrical vocabulary.

Pulchritude Obsession

Pulchritude Obsession Countdown Grainier counts the days until the theater show and dreams of Miss Galveston. He bathes repeatedly in the cold river but cannot cool his imagination. His religious fear turns desire into a possible damnation. The language of sin intensifies rather than controls the fantasy. Shame Retreat On the scheduled day he cannot enter town. He stands naked in his yard, ashamed of being seen and afraid of what the spectacle might awaken.

Mountain Release

Mountain Release Flight to Spruce Lake Grainier hikes for hours through Placer Creek, Deer Ridge, and Canuck Basin. The physical distance gradually separates him from the theater’s erotic charge. At Spruce Lake he sees a vast landscape and experiences desire as a contagion that can be left behind. The mountains restore scale to his troubled body. Return to Routine He misses the show and later buys a sled dog. Ordinary companionship replaces the fantasy of public sexual spectacle.

August 1935

August 11-22 1935

the night of August 22 1935