Rachel Levy

Rachel Levy is Devorah’s mother, a woman whose departure from Williamsburg becomes newly legible to her daughter only when Devorah recognizes her in a documentary. Rachel’s brief disclosure—that she left because she was gay—reshapes Devorah’s understanding of their separation. Their contact remains hesitant, but later exchanges reveal pride in Devorah’s ambitions and, in the book’s closing acknowledgments, Rachel’s support for her writing.

Identity and Disclosure

Rachel enters Devorah’s account not through a direct conversation but through a documentary about gay Orthodox Jews trying to reconcile religious belonging with their sexuality. Watching the film, Devorah sees Rachel listed among its contributing voices. When she rewinds it, Rachel appears briefly, stepping off a curb and saying, “I left Williamsburg because I was gay.” The moment gives Devorah an explanation for her mother’s departure that she had not known, even as it raises new questions about how much of Rachel’s history had remained unspoken.

Devorah’s first response is astonishment. She wonders whether others knew and she alone had failed to understand, but the account does not establish what other people knew or when. What it does show is how completely the disclosure unsettles her existing picture of her mother: the fact that Rachel gave birth to her feels suddenly difficult to reconcile with how different they seem. Devorah listens to the documentary’s message without yet having a conversation with Rachel about what she has learned.

The disclosure also arrives indirectly, through public media, rather than through family explanation. That distance matters to their relationship: Devorah can learn the reason Rachel left while still not feeling ready to speak to her. Rachel’s brief appearance is therefore both revealing and incomplete. It supplies a crucial fact about her past, but does not erase the emotional separation between mother and daughter or immediately make either of them familiar to the other.

A Cautious First Gesture

Before Shavuos, Devorah looks up Rachel’s address and sends her a large bouquet with a special card. She is not ready to talk, but wants to do something kind—something she imagines she would want her own daughter to do for her. The gift becomes a first approach that does not require either woman to explain the past or risk an immediate face-to-face exchange.

A few days later, Rachel calls to thank her. Devorah does not pick up, so Rachel leaves a message on the answering machine. Devorah hears in Rachel’s voice both the wonder of a surprised child and the harder inflections of an adult who has had to become thick-skinned. The message gives Devorah an audible encounter with her mother, but not yet a spoken one: she listens to it play back and reflects on the distance she still feels from the woman whose voice she has just heard.

That distance is not presented as proof that Rachel means nothing to her. Rather, Devorah is unsettled by her own inability to feel connected, even to her flesh and blood. The bouquet and the unanswered call thus mark a genuine but limited change. Devorah has chosen to reach toward Rachel, while remaining unsure what the relationship can hold.

Pride, Education, and Unspoken Questions

After Devorah is accepted into the Continuing Education program at Sarah Lawrence College, she finally calls Rachel to share the news. Devorah believes her acceptance may be a small way of showing that she wants something more than the life she has been living among the Hasidic people. Rachel congratulates her, and Devorah hears pride in her voice. That response offers a point of connection organized around Devorah’s future rather than the unresolved history of Rachel’s departure.

The call also carries an unspoken question. Devorah senses that Rachel wonders whether choosing Sarah Lawrence reflects Devorah’s sexuality, but Rachel does not articulate that concern directly. She says, “I hear that’s a very gay-friendly environment.” Devorah wants to reply, “It’s not like it’s genetic,” but does not say so. Their exchange holds recognition and restraint together: Rachel’s remark suggests that sexuality is present in her understanding of the choice, while Devorah’s unsaid response leaves the subject suspended between them.

Rachel’s pride does not amount to a full resolution of their differences. The evidence records a congratulatory call, not a sustained conversation about Rachel’s past or Devorah’s life. Still, the call shows a change from the earlier stage when Devorah could manage only an anonymous holiday gesture. By sharing an important achievement directly, she allows Rachel to respond as her mother, even as each leaves part of what she thinks unspoken.

Support and Narrative Significance

Rachel’s connection to Devorah’s writing becomes explicit in the memoir’s closing acknowledgments. Devorah thanks her mother for supporting her writing efforts and recognizes that doing so may not have been easy for Rachel. This later recognition gives their relationship a form of continuing support beyond the first bouquet and the college phone call. It does not supply details of every step between those moments, but it confirms that Rachel stood behind Devorah’s work.

Rachel’s place in the narrative rests on the tension between belated knowledge and emerging support. Her appearance in the documentary reveals a hidden family fact; the flower delivery and answering-machine message begin contact without dissolving estrangement; and the college call joins maternal pride to an indirect question about sexuality. By the end, Rachel is also acknowledged as a supporter of the writing through which Devorah tells her story. The relationship remains more observed than fully explained, but its movement is clear: Rachel’s history becomes visible to her daughter, and the distance between them makes room for gestures of care and recognition.