At the shearing supper, Bathsheba tells Boldwood she will try to love him and may agree to marry him, but explicitly refuses to promise. The exchange gives him hope while leaving her decision open: she is responding not to love for him but to her sense that she should accept responsibility for having started the situation. The supper’s communal setting gives way to a private declaration, where a conditional possibility acquires the weight of a pledge in Boldwood’s eyes.

Background and Conflicted Judgment

Bathsheba’s answer follows a period of deliberation over Boldwood’s proposal. She recognizes that he is respected, prosperous, near at hand, and in many ways a desirable husband. She esteems and likes him, but does not want to marry him. Her position as the independent mistress of a farm also remains new to her; marriage would not simply be an abstract social advantage but a change to a life and authority she has only recently begun to inhabit.

Her judgment is further complicated by the belief that she began the game and ought honestly to accept its consequences. That sense of obligation conflicts with her persistent reluctance: she can reason that refusing him would be ungenerous, yet cannot make herself want him. The narrator frames this as a recurring division in her character: deliberation shapes her manner and thoughts, while impulsive assumptions are often the ones that become actions. At the supper, that division takes practical form in an offer of hope that she does not experience as a settled choice.

The Shearing Supper

The supper is arranged beside the house, with the long table extending from the grass-plot through the parlour window. Bathsheba sits inside at the head, separated from the workers gathered outside. Boldwood arrives by arrangement in a new coat and white waistcoat, a marked contrast with his usual sober clothing. Bathsheba asks Gabriel Oak to move so Boldwood can take the place beside her, and Boldwood is unusually cheerful and talkative.

As the evening draws on, Boldwood leaves his seat and is later found inside the parlour near Bathsheba. At her request, Oak accompanies her singing of “The Banks of Allan Water” on his flute; Boldwood supplies a quiet bass. The ballad’s story of a soldier who courts a woman gives the gathering an emotional undertone, while the narrator notes that the song’s verse will remain in the listeners’ memories after what follows. Oak also observes Boldwood’s discreet attentiveness: he watches Bathsheba when others are looking away and murmurs his thanks when the company is inattentive. The scene thus sets his private devotion against the supper’s public sociability before the declaration is disclosed.

The Conditional Promise

After the workers have left, Bathsheba and Boldwood remain alone in the parlour. He is kneeling over the back of a chair and holding her hand in both of his. The intensity of his manner gives Bathsheba proof that he idolizes her, but also makes her uneasy; his loss of composure diminishes the dignity she had associated with him. Her response combines sympathy, excitement, and apprehension rather than reciprocal passion.

Bathsheba says she will try to love him and would be willing to marry him if she can believe she would make him a good wife. She asks him to wait several weeks, until she can assess her situation, and points to the five or six weeks before harvest, when he has said he will be away from home. She is firm on the crucial distinction: she has every reason to hope she may then promise, but does not promise yet. Boldwood accepts this qualification as enough and leaves with a serene smile. The promise is therefore conditional in Bathsheba’s words, even as Boldwood receives it as grounds for patient expectation.

Consequences and Significance

The event grows from Bathsheba’s earlier Valentine prank and from the proposal that followed it. Her attempt to make amends does not resolve the imbalance between them. Instead, a private statement of possibility deepens Boldwood’s attachment, while Bathsheba leaves herself the option of refusing. The supper marks a consequential shift from his pursuit and her resistance toward a future she has not chosen but now feels responsible for considering.

The episode also exposes the difference between social suitability and desire. Bathsheba can recognize Boldwood as an excellent match and feel that rejecting him would be ungenerous without actually wanting to become his wife. Her independence as a farm mistress heightens the stakes: the decision concerns not merely whether she approves of Boldwood, but whether she will relinquish a newly established position for a marriage she cannot yet affirm. The evening’s music and communal festivity form a contrast with the private, serious negotiation that emerges after the gathering disperses. Its decisive outcome is not a marriage agreement, but a carefully limited hope that Boldwood treats as sufficient and Bathsheba knows is not yet a promise.