Each thing I do I rush through so I can do something else

The line "Each thing I do I rush through so I can do something else" is a quotation from Stephen Dobyns's poem "Pursuit," which Ralph Roberts first reads in the collection Cemetery Nights, a book pressed into his hands by the enigmatic Dorrance Marstellar. The line becomes a haunting refrain that mirrors Ralph's own driven, breathless passage through the final months of his life, and it crystallizes the central tension of his experience: the relentless forward motion of a man who feels he is running out of time, even as he is being drawn into a conflict that spans multiple levels of reality.

Origin and First Encounter

Dorrance Marstellar gives Ralph the book of poems Cemetery Nights by Stephen Dobyns on a Saturday morning in early October, shortly after Ralph has cancelled his acupuncture appointment on Dorrance's cryptic advice. Dorrance insists Ralph take the book, saying, "You'll like these. They're like stories," and quotes the opening lines of "Pursuit" directly: "'Each thing I do I rush through so I can do something else.'" Ralph, initially resistant to poetry, later finds himself absorbed in the poem, reading it twice. The line strikes him with such force that he momentarily forgets Carolyn is dead, thinking he will read it to her, and then bursts into tears. The poem's theme of a life lived in perpetual haste, with all that is loved falling away, resonates with Ralph's own sense of loss and the accelerating pace of his strange new perceptions.

The Motif of Haste and the Tunnel

As Ralph's insomnia deepens and his encounters with the auras and the little bald doctors intensify, the line from "Pursuit" becomes a kind of internal shorthand for his condition. He thinks of it while sitting on the porch after his argument with Bill McGovern, feeling pushed toward the mouth of a dark tunnel: "'Each thing I do I rush through so I can do something else,' Ralph thought, and on the heels of that: 'It's a long walk back to Eden, sweetheart, so don't sweat the small stuff.'" The quotation captures the paradox of his situation: he is being rushed forward by forces he does not understand, yet the destination—the tunnel, the confrontation, the sacrifice—feels inevitable. The line also echoes in his mind when he and Lois are driving toward High Ridge, and Lois wishes they could stop and watch the clouds. Ralph replies with the quotation, adding, "Yeah. I think most true ideas are terrible." The line has become a truth he cannot escape, a description of the very structure of his life in these final days.

The Poem as a Key to the Final Act

The full text of "Pursuit" is quoted in the novel's epilogue, where it serves as a thematic capstone to Ralph's story. The poem describes a creature hunting the speaker through the woods, a creature that is "ever closer, yet not really / hurrying or out of breath, teasing its kill." This image mirrors the deathwatch that Ralph hears ticking in the walls, the inexorable approach of his own end. The line "Each thing I do I rush through so I can do something else" thus becomes a description of Ralph's entire trajectory: his rushed walks, his hurried investigations, his frantic race to save Natalie. It is the rhythm of a man who knows he is being hunted, and who must complete his task before the hunter catches him. In the end, Ralph's final act—rushing into the path of the car to save Natalie—is the ultimate expression of this line: he rushes through his own life so that she can have hers.

The Line as a Bond Between Characters

The quotation also serves as a subtle link between Ralph and Dorrance Marstellar. Dorrance, who seems to exist outside the normal flow of time, is the one who introduces Ralph to the poem. He carries the book of poetry and quotes from it with the same serene authority with which he delivers his cryptic warnings. When Ralph later finds a scrap of paper in his jacket pocket with the line written in Dorrance's handwriting, it confirms that Dorrance has been guiding him, planting the seed of the poem that will come to define Ralph's final days. The line thus becomes a kind of talisman, a piece of wisdom passed from one old man to another, a reminder that the rush of life is also its meaning.