The Children They Keep Losing

This thread follows Clare and Henry’s hope for a child through repeated miscarriages, a decision to stop, and Alba’s eventual birth.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

Trying for a Baby

Trying for a Baby Hope fills the household Clare and Henry decide to see whether they can have a child. Clare imagines a baby who will remain with her when Henry disappears, while Henry wants the ordinary family life the condition threatens. Fear shadows desire Henry suspects that a child may inherit his disorder, but he cannot bring himself to end Clare’s hope. Their attempt begins with love and optimism, yet neither can discuss every risk openly.

The First Loss

The First Loss A pregnancy ends abruptly At eight weeks pregnant, Clare begins bleeding while Henry is away. Charisse takes her to the hospital, where Clare learns that she is miscarrying. Absence intensifies the grief Henry arrives too late to be with her through the worst of the crisis. Their shared desire for a baby becomes bound to fear, physical danger, and the particular cruelty of Henry’s unpredictable absences.

A Pattern of Loss

A Pattern of Loss Repeated pregnancies and grief Clare and Henry experience further miscarriages, each carrying renewed hope and another painful ending. Clare’s body and imagination become occupied by babies she cannot keep. The couple’s responses diverge Clare continues to want a child, while Henry grows increasingly frightened that another pregnancy could kill her. Their arguments reveal how love can motivate opposite decisions when both partners are trying to prevent loss.

The End of Trying

The End of Trying Henry draws a boundary After five miscarriages, Henry says he cannot keep trying because he believes the next loss could kill Clare. Clare initially experiences his decision as betrayal rather than protection. A compromise carries sorrow Henry attempts a vasectomy, but time displacement interrupts the procedure. Clare later agrees to stop trying, and their intimacy becomes briefly free of the hope and dread that had dominated it.

Alba Arrives

Alba Arrives A pregnancy against expectation Clare becomes pregnant again after Henry’s vasectomy. This time medical support helps the pregnancy continue, though both parents remain afraid of losing the baby. The family becomes real Alba is born after a difficult labor in which Henry briefly disappears and returns in time to receive her. Her arrival transforms the couple’s long struggle into a family, while passing the inherited risk to the next generation.

Spring 1996

June 3, 1996

1997–2000

June 3–9, 2000

September 5–6, 2001