Toru’s break with Kumiko’s father

Toru’s break with Kumiko’s father turns a strained in-law relationship into a complete estrangement. After a year of regular family dinners and monthly visits to Mr. Honda, a violent argument ends Toru’s contact with Kumiko’s parents; the immediate result is relief, followed by the loss of the couple’s established connection to Mr. Honda.

Background and Family Contact

Toru had formally asked Kumiko’s parents for permission to marry her, and they had accepted him with reluctance after Mr. Honda recommended him as the best possible partner for their daughter. Even after the marriage, however, Toru experienced himself as an outsider in their home. He and Kumiko went to dinner with her parents twice a month, following a mechanical routine that lasted for a year. Toru’s sense of exclusion made those meals an ordeal rather than a source of family closeness.

The Argument and Estrangement

The break came after a violent argument between Toru and Kumiko’s father. Toru describes himself as someone who rarely argues, but who goes all the way once he does; in this case, the rupture was complete, and he and his father-in-law never saw each other again. Once he had said what he needed to say, Toru found that anger had given way to relief. He told Kumiko that he would not see her parents again, while leaving her free to visit them on her own. She did not make an effort to do so and said she had not been especially fond of the visits either.

Consequences for Mr. Honda and the Wataya Family

The estrangement also ended the couple’s monthly visits to Mr. Honda in Meguro. Those sessions had been the least painful part of Toru’s efforts to maintain family relations, but Kumiko’s father had paid for them. After the argument, Toru could not continue attending on that basis, and he and Kumiko could not afford to pay Mr. Honda themselves. They eventually forgot about him, as busy young people can forget older people. In retrospect, Toru connects Mr. Honda’s warning to be careful about water with Malta Kano’s separate research into water, a concern that becomes newly significant to him after the visits stop.

The break also reduced the occasions for contact with Noboru Wataya, who had been living with his parents. During the argument between Toru and Kumiko’s father, Noboru withdrew without speaking to either of them. Toru took this as consistent with Noboru’s lack of interest in him; with the family visits ended, there was no longer a practical reason for Toru to see his brother-in-law. Kumiko and Noboru had never been close, and she had little reason to seek him out. They nevertheless occasionally telephoned each other at their respective offices, without calling the Okada home; Kumiko mentioned these contacts to Toru but generally did not explain what they discussed.

Significance

The rupture resolves Toru’s prolonged, effortful participation in a family routine that had made him feel unwelcome. Its consequences extend beyond the severed in-law relationship: it removes the couple’s access to Mr. Honda, while leaving a limited and private channel of communication between Kumiko and Noboru. The change is marked less by continuing hostility than by Toru’s sense of release and the gradual disappearance of old obligations.