Meeting Gotama the Buddha

Siddhartha and Govinda, having spent about three years with the Samanas, hear a spreading myth of a man named Gotama, the exalted one, the Buddha, who had overcome the suffering of the world and halted the cycle of rebirths. The rumor reaches them in the forest, carried by pilgrims and travelers, and Govinda, stirred by a report from a Brahman's son from Magadha who had seen the Buddha with his own eyes, urges Siddhartha to go and hear the teachings. Siddhartha, though distrustful of teachings and learning, agrees, noting that the best fruit of Gotama's teachings has already been revealed: they have called the two friends away from the Samanas.

Arrival at Jetavana and the First Sight of Gotama

They travel to the town of Savathi, where every child knows the Buddha's name and every house is prepared to fill the alms-dish of his disciples. They are directed to the grove of Jetavana, given as a gift by the rich merchant Anathapindika. At sunrise, they see a large crowd of believers and curious people; monks in yellow robes walk on all paths, sit under trees in deep contemplation or spiritual conversation. The Buddha himself, the enlightened one, walks silently to beg, a simple man in a yellow robe bearing an alms-dish. Siddhartha instantly recognizes him, as if a god had pointed him out, and tells Govinda, "This one is the Buddha." Govinda, after attentive observation, also realizes this is the one. They follow him and observe his walk: modest, deep in thought, his calm face neither happy nor sad, seeming to smile quietly and inwardly. His walk, his quietly lowered glance, his quietly dangling hand—every finger—expresses peace, perfection, an untouchable calm. They recognize him solely by the perfection of his calm, the quietness of his appearance, in which there is no searching, no desire, no imitation, only light and peace. Siddhartha feels little curiosity for the teachings, having heard their contents second-hand, but he is captivated by Gotama's person: it seems to him that every joint of every finger speaks of, breathes of, glistens of truth. He venerates this man as he has never venerated anyone before.

The Buddha's Sermon and Govinda's Conversion

In the evening, when the heat cools, they hear the Buddha teaching. His voice is perfected, full of peace. He teaches the teachings of suffering, the origin of suffering, and the way to relieve suffering, calmly and clearly presenting the four main doctrines and the eightfold path. His quiet speech flows on, patiently using examples and repetitions, hovering over the listeners like a light, like a starry sky. After the speech, many pilgrims step forward to seek refuge in the teachings and are accepted into the community. Govinda, the shy one, also steps forward and speaks: "I also take my refuge in the exalted one and his teachings," and he is accepted as a disciple. After the Buddha has retired, Govinda eagerly turns to Siddhartha, urging him to also walk the path of salvation. Siddhartha, as if awakening from sleep, looks at Govinda for a long time and speaks quietly, without mockery, acknowledging that Govinda has now taken his own step. He wishes him well but does not join him. Govinda, realizing his friend has left him, starts to weep. Siddhartha kindly reminds him that he has renounced home, parents, free will, and all friendship, as the teachings require. The friends walk in the grove for a long time, unable to sleep; Govinda repeatedly urges Siddhartha to explain his refusal, but Siddhartha only says the teachings are very good and he finds no fault in them. In the early morning, an old monk calls the novices to dress them in the yellow robe and instruct them. Govinda embraces his childhood friend and leaves with the novices.

Siddhartha's Conversation with Gotama

Siddhartha walks through the grove lost in thought and happens to meet Gotama. He greets him with respect, and the Buddha's glance is full of kindness and calm. Siddhartha asks permission to speak, and the exalted one silently nods. Siddhartha explains that he has heard the wondrous teachings and that his friend has taken refuge, but he will continue his pilgrimage. He then expresses his admiration for the teachings: everything is perfectly clear, a chain of causes and effects never broken, presenting the world as uniform and connected. But he points out a gap: the teachings of overcoming the world and salvation break this unity, introducing something alien that cannot be demonstrated. Gotama listens quietly, unmoved, then speaks with a kind, polite, clear voice. He warns against the thicket of opinions and arguing about words, stating that his teachings are not an opinion but have a different goal: salvation from suffering. Siddhartha responds that he has not doubted for a moment that Gotama is the Buddha, that he has reached the highest goal through his own search, thoughts, meditation, and enlightenment—not by means of teachings. He declares that nobody will obtain salvation by means of teachings, and that the teachings do not contain the mystery of what the exalted one experienced in the hour of enlightenment. He is continuing his travels not to seek better teachings but to depart from all teachings and teachers and to reach his goal by himself or to die. The Buddha's eyes look quietly to the ground; his inscrutable face smiles in perfect equanimity. He asks whether Siddhartha believes it would be better for all his many Samanas to abandon the teachings and return to the world. Siddhartha exclaims that such a thought is far from his mind; he wishes them all to stay and reach their goal. He explains that it is not his place to judge another's life, but for himself, he must decide. He fears that as a disciple, his self would only seemingly be calm, replaced by the teachings, duty, love for the Buddha, and the community of monks. Gotama looks at him with unwavering openness and kindness, bids him leave with a hardly noticeable gesture, and says, "You are wise, oh Samana. You know how to talk wisely, my friend. Be aware of too much wisdom!" The Buddha turns away, and his glance and half of a smile remain forever etched in Siddhartha's memory.

Aftermath: Siddhartha's Awakening

Siddhartha leaves the grove, feeling that his past life has also stayed behind and parted from him. He realizes he is no longer a youth but a man; the wish to have teachers and listen to teachings has left him like a snake sheds its old skin. He has left the last teacher, the highest and wisest, the most holy one, and was not able to accept his teachings. He ponders what he sought to learn from teachings and teachers and finds it was the self, which he wanted to free himself from but could only deceive or flee from. He realizes he knows nothing about himself because he was afraid of himself, fleeing from himself, searching for Atman and Brahman while losing himself in the process. He opens his eyes, a smile fills his face, and a feeling of awakening flows through him. He decides to learn from himself, to be his own student, to get to know the secret of Siddhartha. He looks around as if seeing the world for the first time, finding it beautiful, colorful, strange, and mysterious. He understands that the purpose and essential properties are not behind things but in them, in everything. He feels he has awakened and has not been born before this very day. He also realizes he is no longer an ascetic, priest, or Brahman, and cannot return to his father's home. For a moment, he feels cold and alone, but he emerges from this moment more a self than before, more firmly concentrated, and walks swiftly, heading no longer for home or his father.