My destiny is to be alone

My destiny is to be alone names the fate Dan Mercer once resisted and ultimately accepts after beginning a new life as Dan Mayer. The expression is not simply a declaration of isolation: his work with children gives him a form of connection, even as he chooses a life apart from the family and identity he left behind.

From Resistance to Acceptance

For a long time, Dan Mercer fought the idea that solitude was his destiny. He married Jenna Wheeler, but in retrospect he sees that attempt at ordinary shared life as part of a past he no longer inhabits. His transformation into Dan Mayer marks a decisive break: the old life is over, and he says he no longer misses it. He now embraces the solitude he had once resisted.

Solitude and Atonement

Dan understands his new work as a calling shaped by what he has done and failed to do, including his treatment of Christa Stockwell and leaving Phil Turnball to take the fall alone. He considers whether this work is a form of atonement, and even whether the impulse feels innate. The expression therefore carries both resignation and purpose: being alone is the condition of his new life, while service gives that life direction.

The children’s smiles unsettle the apparent finality of the phrase. Dan says they keep him from feeling entirely alone, though he remains physically and personally separated from his former life. He misses Jenna Wheeler, Noel Wheeler, and the children, and recognizes that Jenna Wheeler is the one person who would truly mourn him. He is tempted to tell her the truth, but leaves open only the possibility that he might do so someday. The phrase holds that unresolved distance together with the connection he finds in his work.