Gerry Fenn—Sue Crates

Gerry Fenn and Sue Gates have a relationship held together by affection and companionship but repeatedly unsettled by their different limits on intimacy. Sue values her independence and resists making Fenn her sole support, while Fenn both wants greater closeness and sometimes welcomes the space her refusal preserves. Their conflict becomes visible when Sue leaves after an argument, and her absence makes Fenn recognize how deeply he depends on her; when she returns, the relationship resumes through conversation rather than any settled promise.

A Relationship Built Around Autonomy

Fenn and Sue’s connection reaches back three years, to a conversation in which he made her laugh through abrupt shifts between intensity and humor. Even then, Sue was not always sure whether his serious manner concealed a joke. That uncertainty becomes part of the texture of their relationship: they are familiar with each other, but familiarity does not remove their differences or make either person entirely legible to the other.

Sue had been married and divorced before the age of twenty-six. Her former husband worked in advertising in London, and after repeated infidelities she sought a divorce. She had also worked in advertising, but after the marriage ended she wanted distance from that industry, from London, and from another serious attachment. The marriage had produced Ben, whose care influenced her move to the south coast, where her parents could help. Ben spent much of his time with his grandparents, but Sue arranged to see him nearly every day and had him stay with her on most weekends. Her choices show that the independence Fenn encounters is not simply distance from him: it is bound up with her effort to provide for herself and remain present in her son’s life.

Sue refused maintenance from her former husband, accepting only half the proceeds from the sale of their house. She found work at Radio Brighton and became a producer, but the job took time away from Ben, a source of worry for her. She was also concerned that she was spending too much time with Fenn. The relationship therefore develops amid competing claims on her time: work, parenting, solitude, and the comfort she finds in being with him.

Closeness and the Limits of Commitment

Sue had initially wanted only casual connections and did not want to become entangled with another man. As her relationship with Fenn grew closer, she nevertheless continued to resist moving in with him. They lived three blocks apart, and Fenn argued that their closeness made separate homes unreasonable. Sue maintained her own flat and her determination never again to become wholly dependent on one person.

Fenn’s response is divided. At times he feels guilty that their arrangement gives him more than it gives her; at other times he admits that her refusal to move in leaves him with a degree of independence he values. He understands that Sue sees the arrangement as advantageous to herself too: she can turn to him for support, company, and affection without giving up the solitude she wants. His private recognition that he would not encourage her to ask for more exposes an imbalance he notices but does not resolve. Their closeness is real, yet both have reasons to preserve a boundary around it.

The relationship is not presented as a simple progression toward shared domestic life. Fenn asks Sue to keep a Sunday morning free, indicating that he wants to include her in what he has planned, but the evidence does not establish that she agrees to any broader change in their arrangement. Their practical separation remains important: each can be closely involved with the other while maintaining a separate household and life.

The Church Dispute and Sue’s Departure

A visit connected with the church at Banfield becomes a point of conflict. Sue says that the situation is sickening and that, as someone in the media business, she is sometimes ashamed. She wants to go home. Fenn responds by challenging her reaction and saying that he regrets taking her to the church; he also treats her seriousness as a departure from her usual manner. The exchange exposes a difference in how they respond to what they have seen: Sue expresses moral discomfort, while Fenn initially turns the disagreement back onto her and their relationship.

Sue does not remain for the evening as Fenn had expected. She tells him she will get herself home, and when he reminds her that he thought she was staying with him, she rejects that expectation. Her departure is a concrete break in their usual closeness, not merely a disagreement that they settle before leaving. It also follows Fenn’s failure to meet her concern with understanding: rather than accept her wish to leave, he first protests and appeals to the plans he had assumed.

Separation and Renewed Contact

Fenn and Sue do not see each other for nearly three weeks after she walks out of the restaurant. Their telephone conversations during that period are strained. For Fenn, the gap changes the emotional balance: he recognizes that he has become deeply attached to Sue and is relieved when he sees her outside his home. His response makes clear that the independence he sometimes enjoys does not mean he is indifferent to her absence.

Sue has a key to Fenn’s home but calls up to him rather than simply entering. The small hesitation preserves a boundary even as her return signals a willingness to reconnect. When they speak, she explains that she needed a break because he had become too much for her; Fenn acknowledges that this is a habit of his. The exchange gives the separation a specific meaning: Sue had not ended contact altogether, but she needed distance from the intensity of their relationship. Fenn can admit his part in that pressure, though the conversation does not establish that its underlying pattern has been solved.

The Banfield Connection

Sue comes to tell Fenn about the church at Banfield and says she has returned there, taking Ben on Sundays. This news links her renewed contact with him to an activity she has undertaken with her son, rather than simply restoring their previous private routine. Her visits also show that the church remains significant to her after the argument that prompted her to leave with Fenn.

The relationship consequently remains open-ended. Sue’s return, her explanation for the break, and her decision to share what she has been doing create room for renewed conversation; they do not erase her insistence on independence or prove that she has agreed to live with Fenn. Fenn’s attachment, his acceptance that he can become overwhelming, and Sue’s continued choice to approach him on her own terms define their recurring pattern: closeness followed by a need for space, then contact again without a final resolution.