“So, why not me”

“So, why not me?” is Van Go Jenkins’s self-declared motto: a compact expression of his conviction that, because the world shows no concern for anyone, he owes it no concern in return. Repeated as a refrain, it shifts between swagger and agitation, revealing the attitude through which he frames his choices.

Meaning and First Use

Van Go introduces the phrase alongside his claim that he is nineteen and does not care about anybody—not even his mother or the authorities. He presents the world’s indifference as the reason for his own, making the expression less a question seeking an answer than a challenge that licenses self-interest.

The motto accompanies a decision to skip work at a warehouse and wait near the high school for Cleona, the mother of Rexall. Van Go describes Cleona’s ambitions to graduate, attend community college, and become a nurse, and says he hopes she will earn money; at the same time, he speaks of their relationship in dismissive, possessive terms. The gap between her plans and his entitlement gives the refrain a concrete setting: it accompanies a worldview in which other people’s aspirations do not restrain his conduct.

Recurrence and Changing Tone

The phrase returns after Van Go wakes from a disturbing dream. He dresses, checks the kitchen floor for blood, and goes outside wondering which of his four children he will visit. He again calls “So, why not me?” his motto. In this context, the refrain sits beside signs of unease and ordinary decisions, rather than appearing only as a declaration of indifference.

Later, when Van Go is intensely angry, he says that the whole world is screaming and repeats the question. The recurrence carries the expression from self-justification into an outburst: the same words now register anger as well as defiance. Across these appearances, the question does not resolve his circumstances; it supplies a repeated formula through which he presents indifference and frustration as reasons to act.