The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire

The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is the principle Miles Vorkosigan confronts as he and Elli Quinn face a choice between their relationship and the identities each has claimed. In the scene, love cannot settle the conflict by itself; Miles turns instead toward truth and asks Elli to choose as herself.

Meaning in the Scene

After Elli asks Miles to leave with her, he asks her to stay with him. The exchange makes their opposing hopes explicit, but his thought that love does not conquer all marks the limit of persuasion: neither desire nor attachment can make the choice uncomplicated. The expression frames what cannot rightly be offered up as the price of getting what one wants.

Choice and Identity

Miles recalls the phrase while holding Elli's hand and trying to will truth rather than love. He compares his own moral discomfort to what Lucas Haroche may have felt in his moment of moral torture, a comparison that emphasizes the strain of choosing without pretending the situations are identical. Miles then asks Elli to choose, whoever she is; when she identifies herself as Admiral Quinn, he accepts that answer. The phrase thus links the cost of desire to the recognition of Elli's identity, rather than to a promise that love will resolve their differences.