Becka's suicide attempt with secateurs

Becka's suicide attempt with secateurs is a pivotal event in The Testaments that exposes the extreme psychological distress of young women forced into marriage in Gilead, directly precipitates her escape into the Aunts' order, and sets in motion the chain of events that ultimately leads to the collapse of the regime.

The Act and Its Immediate Context

During a flower-arranging class at the Rubies Premarital Preparatory school, Becka, a thin girl with large luminous eyes, slashed her left wrist with the secateurs used for cutting stems. The cut was not fatally deep, but a great deal of blood came out, ruining the white Shasta daisies on the table. Agnes Jemima, who was watching, saw an expression of ferocity on Becka's face that she had never seen before—as if Becka had turned into a much wilder person, though only for a moment. By the time paramedics arrived and took her away, Becka looked serene. She said "Goodbye, Agnes" to her friend, who did not know how to answer. The supervising Aunt, Aunt Lise, dismissed the act as immaturity, telling the other girls that Becka was "immature" unlike them.

The Root of Despair

Becka's desperation was not a passing whim but the culmination of years of trauma. She had been betrothed to the eldest son of a Son of Jacob and Commander, a match her family considered too good to refuse despite her lower rank as the daughter of a dentist. Becka confided to Agnes and Shunammite that she did not want to marry—she hated the thought of "some man crawling all over you, like, like worms." She had already been sexually abused by her father, Dr. Grove, beginning when she was four years old, a fact she revealed only later to Agnes. When Agnes asked why her mother would not help her, Becka revealed that her official mother was not her real mother—her real mother had been a Handmaid—and that her official mother used this fact against her, asking why she was so afraid of sex when her "slut of a Handmaid mother" had not been. Becka had begged her family not to marry her yet, saying she was too young and not ready, but they insisted. The man selected for her had pimples, a scraggly little moustache, and a white tongue; she said he made her flesh crawl. She wished she were severely ill with something not only prolonged but catching, so the wedding would have to be called off.

Aftermath and Rescue

After the suicide attempt, Becka was taken to the hospital. She was then brought before Aunt Lydia, who interviewed her in her office. Becka, still wearing the green outfit of a bride-to-be and with her left wrist in a bandage, told Aunt Lydia she had received a calling to higher service. Aunt Lydia, recognizing that forcing such a girl into marriage would be pointless—she would soon be found swinging from a light fixture or in a coma under a rose bush—admitted her on probation to Ardua Hall. "There is little point in the destruction of a young female life for no reason," Aunt Lydia said. Becka was enrolled as a Supplicant, given the name Aunt Immortelle, and began her training. She told Agnes that she would never have to marry any man, ever. The suicide attempt, though a cry of utter despair, became the door through which Becka escaped the fate she dreaded most.

Thematic Significance

Becka's suicide attempt with secateurs crystallizes the central conflict of Gilead's marriage system: the absolute subordination of young women's will to the reproductive and social needs of the regime. The secateurs—a tool for cutting flowers, a symbol of the decorative, passive role assigned to women—become an instrument of self-destruction. Becka's act is a direct consequence of the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, Dr. Grove, and the complicity of her family and the Aunts in covering it up. Her choice to become an Aunt rather than a Wife is not a true calling but a desperate escape from a fate worse than death. The event also foreshadows Becka's ultimate sacrifice: years later, she will hide in a water cistern to allow Agnes and Nicole to escape Gilead, drowning herself to protect them. The secateurs, the blood on the daisies, and the serene expression on Becka's face as she is taken away all point to the tragic logic of a system that offers women only two choices: submission or death.