“My grief lies onward and my joy behind”

“My grief lies onward and my joy behind” is the Shakespearean epigraph to Chapter LXXXII of Middlemarch. Placed before the account of Will Ladislaw’s weakening resolve to remain away, the line gives his exile a backward-looking emotional shape: the joy he associates with the past stands behind him, while grief lies along the future he expects to face.

Source and placement

The quotation is identified as coming from Shakespeare’s Sonnets and appears immediately before Chapter LXXXII’s opening narration. Its position makes it a frame for the chapter rather than dialogue spoken by a character. The chapter begins by reflecting on the hopes of exiles, then turns specifically to Will’s banishment from Middlemarch and his wish to hear news of Dorothea.

Meaning within Will’s exile

The epigraph’s contrast between grief ahead and joy behind resonates with Will’s belief that he and Dorothea are hopelessly divided. Although he has resolved to stay away, the narration describes that resolve as a state of mind rather than an insuperable barrier. As the months pass, he finds it harder to explain why he should not return, even briefly, to learn something about her. The line thus anticipates a conflict between the pain he expects from separation and the remembered or hoped-for happiness that draws him back toward Middlemarch.

Narrative significance

The epigraph condenses the chapter’s emotional direction without settling its outcome. Will’s return is not yet an accomplished event in this passage: he considers a flying visit and imagines that a chance encounter with Dorothea might make the journey seem innocent. The opening instead shows exile becoming less secure as time passes and as the opinions of the friends watching over Dorothea matter less to him. Against that movement, the epigraph supplies a melancholy measure of what is lost and what still exerts a pull: grief occupies the future he anticipates, while joy remains associated with what lies behind him.