Badr al-Dine

Badr al-Dine is the Arabic name given to Boris Pavlikovsky during his adolescent conversion to Islam in Indonesia, a name that means 'moon of faithfulness' and represents the only period of sustained spiritual belonging and community in his otherwise rootless childhood. The name, and the identity it conferred, stands in stark contrast to the chaos and violence of his family life, offering a brief but luminous alternative to the trajectory of alcoholism and crime that otherwise defined his youth.

Origin and Meaning

Boris received the name Badr al-Dine from the community of Muslims he joined while living in Indonesia with his father, a mining engineer. The name was a gift from his friends there, who told him: 'Boris, you are badr because you light everywhere, being Muslim now, lighting the world with your religion, you shine wherever you go.' The name Badr means 'moon' in Arabic, and the full phrase Badr al-Dine translates to 'moon of faithfulness' or 'moon of the faith.' Boris cherished this identity deeply, recalling with fondness how he 'loved it, being Badr.'

The Conversion and Its Context

Boris's conversion to Islam was not primarily theological but social and emotional. He explained that he became Muslim because 'such wonderful people, they were all so friendly to me.' The mosque itself was a place of enchantment: a 'falling-down palace' with 'stars shining through at night' and 'birds in the roof.' An old Javanese man taught him the Koran, and the community fed him, ensured he was clean and had clean clothes, and gave him a sense of purpose. He would sometimes fall asleep on his prayer rug, and at the dawn prayer, when the birds woke up, he remembered 'always the sound of wings beating.' This period was a stark contrast to his life with his alcoholic, abusive father, who dragged him from one remote mining camp to another across the globe.

Abandonment of the Faith

Despite the profound impact of his conversion, Boris eventually abandoned Islam. He gave it up, he said, 'because I drink.' He felt it was 'wrong to profess faith if I don't observe properly,' calling it 'disrespectful to Islam.' When pressed on whether he had truly believed in Allah and Muhammad, he admitted he had not, calling his Islam 'a political thing.' He clarified that he did not believe in anything, not even then, though he conceded, 'the Virgin Mary, a little.' His attachment to the faith was rooted in the kindness of its people and the beauty of its rituals, not in doctrinal conviction.

Significance

Badr al-Dine represents the only stable, nurturing community Boris ever experienced. The name itself is a symbol of a self he could have become—a person of faith, belonging, and light—had his circumstances been different. His abandonment of the faith, driven by his inability to stop drinking, foreshadows the self-destructive patterns that would define his later life. The memory of the name and the community it represents remains a poignant counterpoint to the violence and moral ambiguity of his adult career in the criminal underworld.