“holding his breath”
Blueback“holding his breath” gives Abel Jackson’s years away from Longboat Bay the bodily tension of a dive. The image begins as a comparison for separation and develops into a measure of endurance: he learns to steady himself inland, while the thought of returning—and of his mother’s attachment to home—helps him persist.
The Diving Metaphor
During high school, Abel feels as though he is “holding his breath.” The narration makes the comparison explicit: leaving Longboat Bay at the beginning of each semester is like diving, though “not nearly as much fun.” His breath becomes a way to register the cost of being away from the coast, rather than simply a reference to the physical activity he knows and enjoys.
The metaphor also carries a practical discipline. Like a diver, Abel teaches himself to relax, resist panic, and believe he has the strength to do what is required. The phrase therefore holds strain and control together: the separation is difficult, but he meets it by learning to endure it.
A Recurring Measure of Separation
The image is tied to the school calendar. Each semester begins with Abel leaving Longboat Bay; he holds on through his time inland until he can return. That repeated pattern makes the phrase more than a description of one moment. It gives shape to the long interval between homecomings and to Abel’s sense that part of him remains bound to the bay while he is away.
The expression’s expanded form, “holding his breath until he was blue in the face,” intensifies the image. The bodily extremity conveys how prolonged and consuming those high school years feel to him, without changing the underlying pattern: departure, endurance, and the anticipated return.
Maternal Love as Sustenance
Abel’s endurance is connected to Dora Jackson’s life at Longboat Bay. He knows that she spends time at the peppermint tree thinking about Abel’s father, and as he grows older he recognizes the strength of her love for the sea, the bush, the house, and her husband’s memory. That love keeps loneliness at bay and makes her strong; the narration compares it to food.
From inland, Abel draws strength from the same attachment. His mother’s love for the place sustains him through the dull school years, while the breath-holding image gives his separation a physical form. The expression thus joins two kinds of persistence: Dora’s rooted life at Longboat Bay and Abel’s effort to withstand being away from it.
