Ava gives Gideon her poem for Kelly

Ava Spirini gives Gideon the poem she has written about Kelly Waititi after several failed attempts to explain why she walked away. The gesture turns a private piece of writing into an attempt at communication: unable to make her feelings clear in letters, Ava sends Gideon the poem as an unvarnished account of what is in her mind.

The poem's origin

The poem emerges during a Monday morning English lesson devoted to free writing. Jason's exercise requires the students to keep their pens moving while writing whatever they want. Ava writes about Kelly, and the poem comes so readily that she surprises herself. She has never written a poem before; although she has started many diaries, she has generally abandoned them after one or two entries because she does not know what to say.

The ease of this writing contrasts with Ava's difficulty speaking about her feelings. The poem does not begin as a carefully planned message to Gideon: it first takes shape in a classroom exercise, where the instruction to keep writing gives her a way into thoughts that ordinary explanation has not reached.

Failed explanations

Ava's trouble explaining herself surfaces during class in a written exchange with Minda. When Minda asks what happened, Ava writes that she has messed up and does not know how to fix it. Minda guesses that the problem concerns a boy and urges Ava to tell him how she feels. Her emphatic reminder to be direct stays with Ava, but it does not immediately supply the words Ava needs.

Ava thinks about what she might tell Gideon throughout the day. She starts three letters intended to explain and apologize, and to make clear that her walking out had nothing to do with Gideon or the poem but everything to do with her. Each attempt fails because she cannot adequately express what she feels. The problem is not a lack of effort: she repeatedly begins again, but the explanations on the page still seem wrong to her.

The delivery and its meaning

When her pen stops, Ava recognizes what she can do instead. She opens her notebook to the pages from that morning, tears out the poem, writes a note, and puts both in an envelope. She then goes straight to Gideon's house and pushes the envelope through his letterbox. The poem becomes the message her three explanatory letters could not manage: if Gideon wants to know what is in Ava's mind, she is giving him the writing that most directly shows it.

The act offers communication without resolving what happens next. The evidence records Ava's decision to send the poem, not Gideon's response or whether the delivery repairs their conflict. Its significance lies in the change of method: rather than continue trying to make a conventional explanation work, Ava entrusts Gideon with the poem that came out of writing about Kelly.