Barb

Barb is Ava Spirini’s mother, but their relationship is defined more by absence than by shared life. In Ava’s recollections, Barb appears in brief returns and sporadic messages, leaving Ava to understand her largely through family history and the effects of her departures on Ava’s father.

Identity and Family Background

Barb and Ava’s father fell in love quickly, married and had Ava within roughly twelve months. Ava later speculates that Barb may have been in a manic phase during this period, describing her then as flighty and free-spirited; she contrasts those periods with low days when Barb could be dark, moody, dishonest and mean. This is Ava’s interpretation of her mother’s changing behavior, not a confirmed diagnosis.

Barb never had another child. Her marriage and early parenthood are recounted chiefly as the start of a family life that proved unstable: Ava’s memories of Barb are shaped by her repeated absences, while her father remains the parent present in the household.

Departures and Intermittent Returns

When Ava was about six months old, Barb left her in the reception area of Ava’s father’s office. The family heard nothing from her for about two years. She then arrived at the family home in a panel van, stayed for a time, and left again after writing a note saying she would call. She went overseas.

Ava did not see Barb again until she was nine. In the intervening years, Barb sent postcards from Paris, Berlin, Lithuania and Egypt. They arrived without any regular pattern, and Barb signed them with her own name, followed by two kisses, rather than as Mum. The postcards offered traces of contact, but no steady presence or dependable rhythm of communication.

By the period Ava describes, she has not seen Barb for a year. Barb is living in Darwin, has married a man with long hair and has sent Ava a photograph of him. The image and news reach Ava at a distance; the account does not describe a renewed relationship or regular contact.

Ava’s Understanding of Their Relationship

Ava describes her relationship with Barb as nearly nonexistent. She thinks of her as a distant relative and says that what she knows comes from her father’s account or from Barb’s brief bursts of interest. Ava sees little common ground between them beyond their genes, and believes she might not like Barb if they met without knowing they were related. She says she is at peace with that distance.

That acceptance follows an earlier period when Ava wanted Barb to be around and could not understand why she was not. Ava has also witnessed what Barb’s behavior has done to her father. She still does not understand her mother’s choices, but says she has become used to them. The account therefore presents estrangement not as a single break but as a condition Ava has gradually learned to live with.

Narrative Role

Barb is characterized through Ava’s retrospective account rather than through an on-page encounter. The contrast between the vivid, brief appearances—a panel van, a note, postcards from faraway places and a photograph—and the long intervals without contact gives her presence an episodic quality. Her absence is concrete in Ava’s childhood history, while its consequences surface in Ava’s sense of kinship and in her awareness of the strain on her father. The narrative does not resolve their distance; Barb remains a mother Ava can describe and place in her family history, but not one with whom she shares an ongoing relationship.