Nana's suicide
Nana's suicide is the catastrophic event that ends Mariam's childhood and sets the course of her adult life. It occurs immediately after Mariam, defying her mother's warnings, walks to Herat to seek her father Jalil and is turned away. When Mariam returns to the kolba, she finds Nana hanging from a willow tree, a sight that will haunt her forever. The suicide is not only a personal tragedy but a brutal confirmation of Nana's warnings about the world's cruelty and the fate of women like them.
Causes and Background
Nana's suicide is the culmination of a life marked by abandonment, illness, and social disgrace. She was a housekeeper in Jalil's home until she became pregnant with Mariam, after which Jalil's family forced him to cast her out. She was sent to live in a remote kolba, a mud hut built by Jalil and his sons, where she raised Mariam in isolation. Nana suffered from what was believed to be jinn possession, but which Jalil later described as a disease that could be treated with pills. She refused to see doctors or take the medication Jalil provided, clinging to her bitterness and her role as a martyr. Her only joy was her daughter, but that joy was poisoned by the fear that Mariam would abandon her, just as everyone else had. When Mariam, at fifteen, insists on going to Jalil's house to see a film and meet his legitimate children, Nana sees this as the ultimate betrayal. She tries every tactic to stop her—anger, mockery, guilt, and a final plea that she will die if Mariam leaves. Mariam, however, is determined, and she walks away.
What Happens
Mariam spends the night outside Jalil's house, sleeping on the street. The next morning, Jalil's driver forces her into the car and drives her back to the kolba. As they approach, the driver tries to block her view, but a gust of wind parts the willow branches, revealing Nana's body hanging from a rope. The image is seared into Mariam's memory: the overturned chair, the rope dropping from a high branch, Nana dangling at the end of it. Mariam is consumed by guilt, believing that her defiance caused her mother's death. She later recalls Nana's words: "I'll die if you go." The suicide is a direct, violent response to Mariam's act of independence, and it leaves Mariam with a burden of responsibility she will carry for the rest of her life.
Consequences and Aftermath
Nana's death immediately reshapes Mariam's life. She is taken to Jalil's house, but she feels like an intruder, and within a week, Jalil and his wives arrange for her to marry Rasheed, a much older shoemaker from Kabul. Mariam is sent away, six hundred and fifty kilometers from everything she has ever known. The marriage is a transaction designed to erase Jalil's shame, and Mariam has no choice but to accept it. The suicide also becomes a recurring source of guilt and self-blame for Mariam. She later tells Laila about Nana's death, and the story becomes a bond between them, as both women have lost their mothers to violence. Mariam's final act of killing Rasheed to save Laila echoes the violence of Nana's death, but it is a conscious, protective choice, not an act of despair. In her final moments, Mariam reflects on her life and finds peace, knowing that she has loved and been loved, a legacy that Nana, in her bitterness, could never achieve.
