Marijuana

Marijuana enters Charlie Decker's story during the summer before his junior year at Placerville High, when he and his friend Joe McKennedy drove to Bangor to spend a weekend with Joe's older brother, Pete McKennedy. Pete, a University of Maine student majoring in English, took them to visit a campus acquaintance, Jerry Mueller, who turned out to be the biggest marijuana dealer in the Orono-Oldtown-Stillwater triangle. Charlie, who had never smoked before, approached the encounter with a mixture of excitement and apprehension, half-expecting to find a stereotypical drug den; instead, he found a small, fully clothed man with a constant grin and a collection of bluegrass music. Mueller produced a hand-rolled cigarette wrapped in brown paper, and the group smoked three joints over the course of half an hour. Charlie, who did not smoke cigarettes, drew slowly as instructed, and the smoke felt sweet, heavy, acrid, and dry. Soon he realized he could visualize the banjo chords from Flatt and Scruggs' "Russian Around" as bright, shuttling steel threads, a sensation he tried to describe to Joe, who only looked puzzled. The group stayed until nearly five o'clock, and Charlie left feeling "wrecked out of my mind," having bought an ounce of marijuana from Mueller. Charlie later described that afternoon as "the last really happy time I can remember."

The Failed Sexual Encounter at Schoodic Point

Later that evening, still high from the marijuana, Charlie, Joe, and Pete drove to a party at a cabin near Schoodic Point hosted by a woman named Dana Collette. The cabin was packed with drunk and stoned college students, the air thick with the smell of marijuana, wine, and hot bodies. Charlie, feeling increasingly self-conscious, sat in a corner behind a stereo speaker, where Dana produced a large scrolled water pipe and the group smoked more marijuana. The drug intensified Charlie's already acute horniness as he watched Dana cross and uncross her legs, her short fluorescent orange dress revealing the lace bottoms of her panties. Dana whispered in his ear, telling him to go out the back door, and he obeyed, descending a flight of weather-washed steps to a small, crescent-shaped beach. There, under the back steps, Dana joined him, and they began to undress. But Charlie's erection vanished. He tried to think of something sexy—looking up a girl's skirt in study hall, a pack of dirty French playing cards, Sandra Cross in black underwear—but the image of his father with his hunting knife, talking about the Cherokee Nose Job, intruded and collapsed everything into "noodledom." He could not achieve an erection, and after a brief, awkward attempt, he rolled off, apologizing. Dana sighed, an irritated sound, and said, "It happens," adding, "It's the dope. I bet you're a hell of a lover when things are right." She dressed and left him alone on the beach. Charlie lay there, feeling a cold certainty that he was queer, a fear that had never occurred to him before. He later dreamed that night of the Creaking Thing, which became his father throwing his mother's slit-nosed corpse onto his bed, and he woke up screaming—with an erection.

Aftermath and Significance

The marijuana itself is not blamed for the failure; Charlie himself notes that the drug may have contributed, but the deeper cause lies in the psychological intrusion of his father's violence and his own unresolved trauma. The episode at Schoodic Point becomes a turning point in Charlie's sexual self-image, reinforcing his sense of inadequacy and alienation. Marijuana, which had initially provided a rare moment of happiness and connection with friends, becomes entangled with humiliation and the confirmation of his worst fears about himself. In the months that follow, Charlie's mental state deteriorates further, leading to the assault on Mr. Carlson with a pipe wrench and eventually the hostage crisis. The memory of that weekend—the bluegrass music, the shared joints, the failed encounter—remains a bitter landmark in his narrative, a brief respite before the long slide into violence and madness.