September 11 attacks

The September 11 attacks enter the narrative through Lucas’s witnessing of the World Trade Center Twin Towers’ destruction, an event that sharpens his faltering recovery into a commitment to live. The sight brings him to his knees in grief; in its aftermath, the deaths of people who had no choice become, for Lucas, a reason to recognize his own responsibility to remain alive.

Lucas’s Recovery Before the Attacks

Back in the United States, Lucas had enrolled in a twelve-step programme and was making an unsteady effort to get clean. Recovery remained precarious: he remembers repeatedly nearly calling his dealer and nearly buying vodka. The attacks arrive within this ongoing struggle, not after it has been resolved, making his response part of a fragile process rather than a sudden, uncomplicated cure.

Witnessing the Towers Fall

On September 11, 2001, Lucas watches from the window of his own high-rise apartment as the towers come down. He sinks to his knees and weeps on the floor. The sight is, to him, unbelievable and sickening; the physical collapse of the towers is also rendered as a moment of personal collapse, interrupting the near-relapses that had defined his days.

Aftermath and Resolve

Lucas finds that the weeks after the attacks make recovery possible. Seeing a city begin to heal hardens his determination: if others can pick themselves up, he believes he must at least try to keep himself clean. His reasoning turns on the difference between choice and its absence. He can choose whether to continue living; those killed in the attacks could not. The event does not make him brave, but it brings him to recognize a duty to stay alive.

Rowena’s Message

After the attacks, Rowena tracks down Lucas’s email address and sends him a long, rambling message full of kindness. Her reaching out links the public catastrophe to a private reconnection: in the aftermath of the towers’ fall, Lucas receives contact from his twin sister as he tries to hold to the resolve the event has strengthened.