Second C.I.D. Man
The Second C.I.D. Man is a pudgy, high-strung, and self-important investigator who descends upon the 256th Squadron in a farcical attempt to unmask the forger signing official documents and censored letters as "Washington Irving." His arrival, his methods, and his ultimate failure constitute a sharp satirical critique of the military's bureaucratic and investigative apparatus, which is shown to be not only incompetent but also easily manipulated by the very system it purports to police. He is a figure of pure comic incompetence, whose every action inadvertently aids the real culprit and deepens the absurdity of the situation.
Identity and Introduction
The Second C.I.D. Man is introduced as a "brisk, pudgy, high-strung person whose movements were swift and certain." He arrives at Major Major's office masquerading as a pilot, his flight jacket painted with pictures of planes and bombs signifying sixty combat missions. He immediately confides his true identity to Major Major, urging him to keep it a secret, a tactic that is immediately undermined when he admits he has already told Sergeant Towser. This pattern of self-defeating behavior defines his character. He is armed with a large red expansion envelope filled with photostats of the forged letters and documents, and he approaches his investigation with an air of absolute certainty that is entirely unwarranted by his methods.
Investigation and Misdiagnosis
The Second C.I.D. Man's investigation is a masterclass in misreading evidence. He shows Major Major photostats of letters signed "Washington Irving" and "Irving Washington," confidently asserting that they are the work of one man using two names to throw off the track. When Major Major denies knowing anyone by those names, the C.I.D. man leaps to a new conclusion: the forger is using a third name. He then produces a piece of V-mail on which Yossarian has written, "I yearn for you tragically. R. O. Shipman, Chaplain, U.S. Army." Upon learning that R. O. Shipman is the group chaplain, he declares, "That locks it up. Washington Irving is the group chaplain." When Major Major suggests someone else might have forged the chaplain's name, the C.I.D. man instantly pivots to a new theory: a gang of three men working together, one in the squadron, one in the hospital, and one with the chaplain. His reasoning is a chain of non-sequiturs, each conclusion more absurd than the last, and he never once considers the possibility that the forger might be the man he is currently interrogating.
Physical Mishaps and Unwitting Collusion
The Second C.I.D. Man's incompetence extends beyond his deductive reasoning to his physical person. After his first interview with Major Major, he rushes back to the hospital to write a report, only to be intercepted by the First C.I.D. Man, who has been observing from the window. In a subsequent attempt to return to the hospital as a patient to continue his investigation incognito, he is sent to the medical tent, where Gus and Wes paint his gums and toes with gentian violet solution. He returns to Major Major in distress, carrying his shoes and socks, his toes painted purple, and complains, "Who ever heard of a C.I.D. man with purple gums?" His humiliation is complete when, walking away from the orderly room, he falls into a slit trench and breaks his nose. Despite his normal temperature, Gus and Wes finally send him to the hospital in an ambulance. Throughout this farce, he remains utterly oblivious to the fact that his own actions are being manipulated by Major Major, who lies to him about the forgeries and thus protects himself. The Second C.I.D. Man's investigation is not only a failure; it actively serves the interests of the criminal he is trying to catch.
Narrative Role and Thematic Significance
The Second C.I.D. Man is a quintessential flat character in E.M. Forster's sense, built around a single, instantly recognizable idea: the incompetent, self-important bureaucrat. He is incapable of surprising the reader, as every action he takes confirms his fundamental foolishness. His role is to satirize the military's investigative and administrative systems, which are shown to be not only ineffective but also self-defeating. The C.I.D. man's inability to see the truth, despite having all the evidence literally in his hands, mirrors the larger theme of Catch-22: that the systems designed to create order and justice are themselves the primary sources of chaos and absurdity. His physical mishaps—the purple gums, the broken nose—are the novel's way of punishing his arrogance with slapstick, reducing the authority of the state to a figure of ridicule. He is a symptom of a world where the pursuit of truth is replaced by the performance of investigation, and where the most obvious answer is the last one anyone will consider.
